


Rey Theory Variant - Visions

by jairyn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anisoka, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Star Wars - Freeform, Variant - Freeform, otp, rey theory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-06-15 05:56:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15406494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jairyn/pseuds/jairyn
Summary: So, this is a little different than my normal stories, because part of what made me take so long writing my Rey theory was that I kept getting distracted by variations of it. The Rey Theory (Legacy of Light) was supposed to weave in and out of what we know to be canon, whereas these are stories that I wished had happened based on my theory. This is by far my favorite variation and it picks up after chapter 10 in the original story (also posted).Ahsoka has visions that Anakin is still alive and is calling to her for help. When she finds out that is true, she races to find him and save him from the dark side. With the help of their daughter, four-year-old Ashla, will they succeed at bringing him back?Ashla quickly became one of my favorite characters as I started writing the Rey theory to begin with, so I hope you will enjoy this as much as I do!(Anakin and Ahsoka as parents is my new favorite thing)





	1. Chapter 1

 “Ahsoka!” She leapt out of bed and stared around the room, panting to catch her breath. She stumbled around awkwardly for the light and turned it on, staring blankly at the wall. The voice from her dream was haunting her. It sounded like Anakin, but not like she remembered it. It was twisted and raspy as though he were struggling to breathe. But he was dead, that was impossible. That’s what everyone had told her anyways, that he was dead. She couldn’t find him in the force, so she believed them. Yet this voice… she knew it. It meant something. If he was dead, he couldn’t be calling for her.  _I need you._  That’s what it had said. 

She picked up the holocommunicator by her bed and dialed the secret code she had for Bail. It was late, but she knew he’d be awake. “Ahsoka? Are you alright?” She didn’t blame him for sounding concerned, this was their emergency line. But if Anakin was alive and he needed her, then this _was_ an emergency. Maybe not for the rebellion, but it was for her.

            “I’ve been having these visions, Bail. I don’t know exactly what they mean, but I think they’re telling me that Anakin is alive. I know you said that he died during the attack on the temple…” she trailed off and swallowed hard. Bail had shifted uncomfortably and even through the hologram she read deception in him she hadn’t caught before. He knew something she didn’t. Something about her old master. “Tell me the truth,” she said.

            He made a face like he swore to himself and then sighed. “Come to my command ship, we’ll talk there.” He clicked off the call and a few seconds later coordinates appeared on the datapad. Her heart clenched in her chest as she made her way to the bridge of her ship and numbly set the nav computer for their rendezvous. 

            Was he about to tell her that Anakin was still alive? If so, where was he? But more than that, why would he have lied? Were there others alive too? She could understand why he wouldn’t have told her in the beginning, but hadn’t she earned his trust by now?

            Her legs felt weak as she moved slowly towards Bail’s office after docking with his ship. The weight on her chest was getting heavier with every step. She slipped inside quietly and cleared her throat. He leapt to his feet, clearly startled that she’d interrupted his thoughts. “I swear Ahsoka, I know you used to be a Jedi, but could you make some noise when you move? Us ordinary folk can’t sense your presence.”

            “Sorry, Senator,” she said tightly. “Old habits die hard.” She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, hating how nervous and shifty he seemed. She’d trusted him. She’d worked hard for him. He’d repaid her by keeping secrets from her. Secrets that could change a great many things. She was really tired of feeling betrayed. First by her friend Bariss, then by the Jedi council and now, the leader of the rebellion. Was there anybody in this galaxy she could trust? She trusted Rex and she’d trusted Anakin, but neither of them were here. “Anakin is alive, isn’t he?” she said to break the silence that had fallen between them.

            “Listen, there’s a lot you have to understand…” he started, but she straightened to make herself taller. There were times she really hated being small. Nobody took her seriously. But Bail at least had the decency to look intimidated when she narrowed her eyes at him.

            “Anakin is alive, isn’t he?” she repeated. 

            “Yes,” he whispered, looking everywhere but at her. “But not like you knew him,” he finished quickly.

            “What do you mean?” She crossed her arms in front of her, trying to hold down the rattling breaths and the way her knees had gone weak when he’d confirmed her belief.

            “He turned to the dark side, Ahsoka.” Bail shook his head and started pacing back and forth in front of his desk. It felt like somebody had stabbed her in the heart with a lightsaber. 

            “That’s not possible,” she squeaked, not feeling so in control anymore. The room started spinning. She'd expected something about him in stasis or whatever, not this... the dark side?  _Oh Anakin..._

            “It’s the truth,” he said, strength returning to his tone. “He joined the Emperor and as I understand it, became his apprentice.”

            “Darth Vader?” She shook her head, needing to sit down. “No. Anakin would never do that! He wouldn’t!”

            Bail looked at her with pity and she had the urge to draw her lightsabers on him. “This is why I didn’t tell you.” She scowled at him, baring her teeth and he took several steps backwards bumping into his desk. “Look, I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. Everyone knew how loyal you were to him, how loyal you were to each other…”

            “You didn’t trust me. Is that what you’re saying, Senator? You thought if I found out the truth that I’d run to his side and join him?” She stepped closer, feeling rage and hurt take over. 

            “I didn’t know you well enough to be sure…” he said weakly, his eyes wide.

            “You were right. I am loyal to Anakin, but I do not follow people blindly. Why do you think I left the order after everyone I fought for turned on me? But if he’s out there, alive, then he needs my help. So I  _will_  go to him, and I  _will_  help him. I don’t believe he’d join the dark side willingly. And to be honest, I don’t care why he did. But I swear to you, I will bring him back.” She stormed out of the room, with him calling after her. She ignored his warnings and was practically running by the time she’d made it back to her ship. 

            She was trembling with fury and fear and frustration by the time she jumped the ship into hyperspace. Anakin was still alive and he was calling to her for help. She couldn’t believe that Bail had lied to her about something so important. Learning to live without him had been like trying to force herself to breathe water when she was biologically incapable of doing so. Yes, she was loyal to Anakin. He was probably the only person she always would be loyal to. She’d choose him over anyone. And yes, she knew exactly how bad that devotion and attachment was. But if he was alive, and he needed her help, then she would run back to his side like she always did. She would not abandon him again. Had he turned because she hadn’t been there? She never should have left him. 

            The ship came out of hyperspace face to face with a full Imperial blockade. She stared at it a moment, wondering how to play it. She was alone here, one ship trying to sneak through it wouldn’t end well. The destroyers had no hope of following the speed of her fighter, but she was well aware that all of them were well stocked with plenty of tie fighters that could. There was no way she’d outrun all of them and land safely on Mustafar. She was used to crashing, but into a lava planet was a suicide plan. 

            She was hailed moments later as they scanned her, well then… apparently surrendering was her only option now. If only that was a guarantee she’d be taken to Vader. Though she suspected she was a valuable enough prisoner they wouldn’t execute her on the spot. She pushed the button, raising her brows in surprise to see a hologram of Tarkin appear in front of her. “Rebel ship, surrender now or be destroyed,” he commanded.

            “What, no hello?” she smirked at him after clicking the switch to reply to the transmission.

            “Ahsoka Tano. What a pleasant surprise,” he grinned maliciously, and she rolled her eyes.

            “I see the Emperor rewarded your ambitions, Tarkin, but if I recall, you owe me your life.”

            “I owe you nothing,” he sneered. 

            “Oh don’t worry, I’m not here to collect that debt.” She leaned back against her chair and waved her hand in front of her nonchalantly.

            “Then what do you want?” he asked. She saw several ships headed her way and tried to ignore them.

            “An audience, with Darth Vader.” She picked at her fingernails as though she were bored. “I hear he’s looking for surviving Jedi. I’m not a Jedi anymore, but I suppose I qualify. I will surrender to him and only him.”

            “You are a fool to think you have any kind of bargaining power here. Either way, there’s no way you can escape,” Tarkin drawled and she shook her head and rolled her eyes again. 

            “Care to make that a challenge?” She smiled mischievously. “How many people are you willing to lose before you accept my terms?”

            Vader stepped into the holotransmission, pushing Tarkin out of the way. “Land on the middle cruiser and I’ll meet you in the hanger to accept your surrender,” he rasped, his voice an echo from her dreams. She hid the chills it sent through her. Had he seemed eager to see her, or was it just her imagination? She hoped she knew what she was doing, because whether she wanted to admit it or not, Tarkin was right. There was little chance she’d escape now. But she didn’t want to escape, not without Anakin. Now she just had to survive long enough to get him out of here.

            “At least one of you is intelligent,” she smirked again and started guiding her ship towards the middle cruiser. The transmission was cut and the ships that had been coming out to greet her, escorted her in. 

 

\---

 

Vader stood in the hanger surrounded by storm troopers awaiting her arrival. He held his chin high, burying his emotions deep inside. He’d dreamt she was alive, and days later she appeared in front of him, promising to surrender only to him. It was too coincidental to be an accident. She was here on purpose, here to see him. His heart fluttered a little when the loading ramp door opened. He reached for his lightsaber, expecting this to be a trap, but she walked casually down the ramp and put her hands up. 

            His breath caught in his throat and he stared at her a moment before he managed to recover himself. The transmission had hardly done her justice. She was absolutely stunning. Not at all what he’d expected. He gave himself a mental shake and force pulled her lightsabers to his hand. She didn’t even react, she just kept moving forward until she was right in front of him. She put her hands out, expecting him to slap binders on them, but he didn’t. He hadn’t even thought to bring any, his anticipation at seeing her again had distracted him. He studied her hands for a moment and then looked back up at her face. He felt a different kind of heat spreading through him, not the usual hate fueled one he’d gotten used to in the past few years. How was it possible that three years could go by without so much as a word between them and he instantly felt weak in her presence again? And why was he so grateful and relieved she was alive? She was the enemy...

            “Follow me,” he said and turned away, trying to hide the tremble that had run through him when he’d seen the knowing look in her vivid blue eyes. He didn’t have to see her to know that she’d shrugged and started walking behind him, several stormtroopers on her tail. They made it to the lift and he watched her with his peripheral vision as she stood patiently next to him. She seemed calm and confident on the surface, but he sensed a sliver of uncertainty about what she was doing. It told him that she’d had no plan in coming here, only that she was coming for him. Maybe that dream had meant more than he’d thought.

            They exited the lift on the detention level and he led her to a cell on the far end of the hallway, dismissing the stormtroopers so they were alone in the room. She sat down on the bench and looked up at him, waiting for him to say something. Was it getting harder to breathe in here? “Why are you here?” he asked finally.

            “Well, I heard there was a prisoner being kept here that needed rescuing.” She brought her legs up and leaned back into the wall. 

            “So you surrendered to us to rescue them? Seems foolhardy to me." He turned away because looking at her was distracting.

            “Perhaps,” she murmured and he looked back at her before he could stop himself. 

            “I thought the rebellion was better equipped. Risking its leader on a rescue mission was unwise.” He stepped out of the cell, fetched a probe droid and came back in. She hadn’t moved. He turned on the droid and her eyes followed it around the room. He’d forgotten what it was like to see her turn into a predator in front of him. Without even twitching a muscle, the probe droid burst into a hundred pieces and his HUD immediately darkened his eye lenses to protect them from the sudden burst of light. When they switched back to normal, she was still sitting there as though she’d done nothing at all. He glanced down at the husk of the still sparking droid that had landed at his feet. He hated to admit he was impressed. The other Jedi he’d tortured had never thought to try that. Mainly because their fear had blinded them to their power. But then again, Ahsoka was no ordinary Jedi. She’d always been more advanced than the others, her powers increasing exponentially as she’d aged. He hadn’t seen her fight for a few years, but he suspected if he gave her back her lightsabers, she’d give him a run for his money. 

            He kicked the broken droid to the side and reached his hand out, falling deep into the force. For just a moment, her mind was an open book. “You will tell me where the other Jedi are,” he commanded, putting pressure on the force as it flowed through him and into her head. And then to his surprise, something snapped down on his arm and jolted him back. She was standing in front of him, her eyes narrowed. Her feet were shoulder length apart, her hands balled into a fist as though she were gripping her lightsabers. She was. He looked down at his belt in surprise wondering when she’d taken them back from him. 

            “Ask me what you want, but no more games,” she breathed, a strange guttural quality to her voice. 

            “Tell me why you’re here.” He pulled his lightsaber to his hand, hoping they were not about to fight. 

            “I told you, I’m here to rescue someone.”

            “Who?” He mentally clicked through all the prisoners in the vicinity, but none of them seemed important enough for  _her_  to come. Unless one of them had more information than they realized. 

            “You,” she said finally and he looked up at her startled. “You said you needed me, so here I am.” He stared at her blankly for a moment and then the dream ran through his memory. He’d called out to her. He couldn’t remember exactly why. He hadn’t expected her to answer, he'd thought she was dead. But she was not dead. She was in front of him right now. Why was he asking her for help? Why would he need her help?

            “Why would a Sith lord call a failed Jedi for help?” he spat at her. To his surprise, he hated the streak of pain that had crossed her features at his words. “I don’t need anyone.” It wasn’t true and she probably knew that. "Do I look like I need rescuing?"

            “As a matter of fact, yes. But suit yourself,” she muttered, dropping her lightsabers and sitting back down, crossing her legs in front of her. He felt her sink into meditation and he stormed out of the room, forgetting to pick up her weapons.

The truth was, he  _had_  called for help. He'd had another nightmare. That wasn't new, he had them almost every time he closed his eyes. Why had he called for her though? Why did he want _her?_ He threw up his hands in frustration. As if he didn't know. He'd called for her because she'd once been the only person that could tame the dragon inside him. She could crack her metaphorical whip and it would melt like putty in her presence. When she was next to him, near him, he could survive all the things that tried to destroy him. 

Ahsoka wasn't just a powerful force wielder, she was a powerful person. And the only explanation he had for why she was so powerful was because of the way she loved. She loved people so deeply and so intensely that she could disarm you just with love. That's how she'd gotten past his walls to begin with. She could love the good and bad parts of you. She could pierce your soul with that love. It made her dangerous and it made him weak.

And right now... he turned on his heels and headed back to her cell. He wanted to be weak. He stopped outside the door and stared at it in frustration. If he asked her to help him, what could she do? It wasn't like she could love the Emperor to death. Or Tarkin. Or the Imperial navy. What did she truly believe she could offer him?

"Sir, Grand Moff Tarkin has requested a report." Two storm troopers headed his way. He had the strongest urge to kill them both right there. But then he felt her through the door and he swallowed hard. 

"Tell him she has so far been uncooperative but I'm about to change that. And prepare my ship to transport her to the surface. I will finish my interrogation there," he ordered.

"Yes, sir!" They both saluted and disappeared. When he was certain they were gone he went inside. She was still sitting where he'd left her a few moments ago, her lightsabers still on the ground. He was playing with fire here. He didn't know what to do. He stared at her with longing, hating that every functioning heartstring he had left was pulling him towards her. He wasn't weak anymore, but he was.

Her eyes opened and she blinked up at him. It was enough. He fell to his knees, reaching for her. She didn't recoil, or gloat or do any of the things he'd expected her to. She'd simply slid off the seat, landing in front of him, taking his hands in hers. 

"I do need you and I don't want to need you," his voice a strangled sob as his eyes burned with dry tears.

"Anakin," she whispered so sweetly, he knew he would drown in her voice. "I need you too."

"Then why did you leave me?"

"I had to," she breathed. "I thought if I stayed, I would ruin your life."

"How?"

He saw a tear roll down her cheek. He'd wanted to tell her that she'd ruined it by leaving, but he'd managed to swallow the words. "Because I loved you too much and you loved someone else." 

He reached for her face, brushing a gloved finger down her cheek. She watched him, her eyes piercing the mask into his soul like she always did. "But I loved you too," he rasped, choking on the words he'd never admitted aloud before. 

"Enough to help me raise a child?" His hands dropped to his side. It felt like he'd been slapped. Did she mean? She couldn't... that night...  _oh no..._

"We..." he couldn't even finish the sentence. The words stuck in his throat and he struggled to breathe. She inched towards him.

"I knew how much you loved Padmé. So when I found out... I chose not to come between the two of you. I was scared of you finding out. I wanted that night we shared to be a good memory, not one that I'd come to regret when it made everything fall apart around you. I couldn't live with myself if I ruined everything for you. Because of the trial, I had a good excuse to walk away. So, I exited your life thinking it would be better for both of us. But Anakin... I didn't want to leave you. I wanted to stand by your side no matter what. Sometimes though, sometimes when you really love people... you have to let them go. You have to choose their happiness over your own, even if they'll never understand the choice you make. I knew you'd hate me for it, but I did it for you. I walked away, because I truly believed you'd be better off."

"You were wrong," he whispered finally. Still trying to process everything she'd just told him. "Walking away left me questioning everything. I loved you, I trusted you, but you just became another person that abandoned me. I did love Padmé, she was my wife, but she turned on me like the rest of them. All I wanted was to end the war. All I wanted was to bring peace... no one would help me..." he looked at her searchingly, knowing she couldn't see his face, but she had to feel it. She had too. The anger was burning him from the inside out; far more scarring and painful than the physical burns that left him barely a husk of a man. If there was ever a time to tame the dragon, now was it. Could she still do it?

She didn't respond, and it felt like the gaping hole inside his soul was opening up again to swallow him whole. And then, she reached forward, and faster than he could react, removed the helmet. Her lips were on his the moment they were exposed and he was lost in the feel of her tender and longing touch. If he still had hair, her fingers would be in it. The sensation so long forgotten felt surreal. A ripple of electricity spread from her fingertips until his entire head felt like it was buzzing in response. Staticky, like white noise. How was it that when she melted the dragon, she also made him feel more alive? 

"I'm sorry," she breathed against his skin. He closed his eyes appreciating the warmth. "I never meant to hurt you. I was scared, so scared." His impulse was to yell at her. To blame her. To hate her. But he let them slide. It wasn't her fault. It was his. If he'd gone after her... if he'd loved her like he should have, like she deserved... maybe none of this would have happened. She nuzzled her nose into his cheek and he no longer cared about the hate, the anger or the abandonment. He just wanted to feel her there forever. 

"I had another nightmare," he cried, bringing up his hands to cover his eyes. "That's why I called out to you. I didn't know you would hear it. I thought you were dead." She pulled him closer so the side of his head was resting over her heart, her arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed his bald head. "I have them all the time, but you were the only one that could free me from them."

"Anakin," she said softly. Her voice purred when she said his name. It was still so intoxicating. "You're going to be okay. We're going to get through this. We're going to survive like we always do." Suddenly he understood why he needed her. Suddenly it was clear. She was hope. She was the light at the end of the tunnel. The sun that you take for granted and curse when it goes away. She was the only fire that could burn you but never cause you pain. She was warm, and visceral and essential. She was home. The only one he'd ever known. When had she become all those things to him? Had it been that night they'd slept together or before? Did it matter?

Cuddled up like that, he felt her radiating light. His master had taught him to resist, but he couldn't. And this time, he didn't want to. He wanted to be everything she believed him to be. He never wanted to let her down though he knew he already had, and probably would again. He wanted to hold her close forever, to obey her every command. He opened his soul to her and her light seeped into dusty corners, sweeping away the cobwebs and shaking the curtains. 

"Are you tired of being a slave?" she asked after awhile.

"Yes," he said simply. 

"Can I be your knight in shining armor?" she chuckled and he looked up at her smile. God how he'd missed it. All of it. Every piece of her was interwoven through every fiber of his being. She was the dream he'd never known he needed. And that's when he realized she'd slain the dragon. Forget the whip and the temporary respite; she'd fought her way into the citadel of his heart, against his will, he might add. She'd fought insurmountable odds, and destroyed the enemy. When had he become the princess in the tower? Shouldn't it have been the other way around? 

"You already are." 


	2. Chapter 2

            Ahsoka glared at Obi wan, hating that their relationship had come to this. He was just so frustrating sometimes, refusing to admit that he’d done anything wrong. She didn’t expect anybody to be perfect, but he could at least have the decency to admit that maybe the Jedi didn’t know everything. For a group of powerful force users that preached fear led to the dark side, they sure were afraid of a lot. Most especially it seemed, afraid to be wrong. She was glad he was alive, but also annoyed. She’d been fighting tooth and nail for the people, and for the rebellion, only to find out not only that the leadership lied to her about important things, but also that there were others out there that could fight and chose not to. She didn’t exactly want to call them cowards, but it felt cowardly.

            Her daughter stirred in her lap and blinked a few times, eyes widening when she saw him sitting there. “Who is that, mommy?” she asked.

            “Ashla, this is an old friend of your father and I; Obi wan Kenobi,” Ahsoka replied. 

            “Hello,” she said shyly and leaned closer to her. 

            “Hello there, child,” Obi wan smiled at her. Though Ahsoka could tell it was a strained smile.

            “Is daddy awake yet?” Ashla looked up at her with her big blue eyes. 

            “Not yet, love. He should be soon.”

            “Can I hold his hand?” 

            Ahsoka smiled at her daughter.  “Of course, I’m sure he’d like that.” She put her leg down so Ashla could get down and released her. She went over to the side of the operating table and wove her fingers between Anakin’s mechanical ones. “They’re cold,” she giggled a little and Ahsoka smiled again. 

            “They’re made of metal,” she informed her.

            “Why does daddy have metal fingers?”

            “Well sometimes accidents happen and you can lose a limb. But we live in a great technological age where we can replace lost limbs with mechanical ones. It takes some getting used to but they function the same as the real ones,” Ahsoka tried to explain, but she’d felt something from Obi wan sitting next to her. She had no idea why Anakin was missing _all_ his limbs, or why his skin was so scarred. But she was suddenly certain that Obi wan knew why.

            “How did he lose his arm?” Ahsoka flinched a little wondering how to explain war and fighting and lightsabers and just decided on the simpler answer for now.

            “I don’t know sweetie, someday you can ask him. But for right now, let’s not bother him about it, okay?”

            “Daddy? I know you’re still sleeping but I like you better without the helmet.” Ashla seemed to forget all her questions and moved up towards the head of the table, tugging a chair towards it and climbing up so she was higher and could look down at him. She kissed him on the forehead. “Your skin isn’t very pretty, but you are.” Ahsoka brought her hand up to her face to stop herself from crying at how sweet the moment was. She half wondered what Obi wan was thinking, but then decided she didn’t really care. Obi wan could go on believing whatever he wanted about the situation, but she’d never regret this. She would never see this as wrong. “I hope you’ll wake up soon so we can play.” Ashla turned around and plopped down in the chair, rocking back and forth. “Do you think he heard me?” 

            “I know he did,” Ahsoka said, choking up just a bit. 

            “Can I go get my doll?” Ashla asked.

            “Of course, dear,” Ahsoka replied. “Don’t run in the hallways, be careful and pay attention to your surroundings.”

            “Okay!” She slid out of the chair and hurried out of the room, clearly trying not to run. She noticed that Obi wan’s eyes had followed her. She wondered if he’d say anything about it.

            “There’s something you need to know, Ahsoka,” he said turning to her. She hiked a brow at him. “Anakin has two more children.”

            “So Padmé gave birth to twins before she died then?” That would explain some of Obi wan’s weird behavior since he'd showed up there at the medical facility. “Are you going to tell him?” She crossed her arms.

            “I don’t know,” he murmured. 

She shook her head in annoyance. “You should know that what snapped him out of this was finding out he and I had a kid. Maybe finding out Padmé's children had survived could have saved him sooner.”

            “He murdered the younglings at the temple, Ahsoka. I didn’t want to believe it, but I saw the security footage with my own eyes.” Obi wan looked at her with a mixture of pity and a snobbish ‘I know better than you’ attitude that she hadn’t missed in the least. “We took the twins away to protect them from  _him_.” She swallowed hard trying not to give in to the emotion. She hadn’t known that, but she didn’t want him to know that she hadn’t. “I wouldn’t trust him with that little girl if I were you.”

            That was it, she couldn’t stand it anymore. So Anakin had made mistakes. And maybe she didn’t like knowing that he’d done that… killing children was incomprehensible. But she still didn’t believe he’d been completely in control of what he was doing. He wasn’t blameless by any means. “You listen to me now, Master,” she said, leaping to her feet. “If what you say is true, then I cannot forgive him for that. But you and the rest of the council are as much at fault for the things that he did as he is. None of you ever trusted him, none of you ever listened to him. You constantly beat him down, lecturing him until you were blue in the face. It’s not surprising in the least that he would choose a friendly mentor to the coldness of a bunch of eccentric monks that never acted like they cared. He is a product of his environment. You took him from a loving mother, even if it was a life of slavery. You brought him into a world where he was still very much a slave and told him not to love or care. Beyond that, you refused to let him keep contact with his mother and never bothered to try to save her. Then you put pressure on him to be something he was not, making him believe that everything he knew and felt was wrong. And then you condemned him to another life of slavery. Inside that broken shell was a good man that you turned into a monster. You crippled him and then you have the audacity to act as though he’s the only one to blame. Open your eyes, master! The Jedi knew nothing about the real world, and until you’re willing to admit your precious council was in the wrong, I wouldn’t be here when he wakes up.” She was shaking from anger, understanding completely in that moment what had truly tipped the scale for Anakin. “You failed us both.”

            Obi wan stared at her in surprise, his mouth working a few minutes, but he never made noise. She hadn’t exactly meant for it to come out quite like that, but maybe that was the only way he’d actually listen. Nobody was blameless when it came to Anakin, but at least she’d tried to help him. Everyone else had coldly dismissed him, either intentionally or unintentionally turning a blind eye to his needs. They had never accepted that he was different and refused to treat him as different. They believed that despite his advanced age coming into the order that the same techniques would work on him that had worked on the others. And as far as she was concerned, they  _had_  created the person that did all those horrible things. The only thing Anakin had ever wanted in life was love and they’d denied him that. But she could not ignore what master Kenobi had said and her heart sunk a little. She trusted him, she believed in him, but could she pretend she’d never heard that? Obi wan hadn’t seen the way Anakin had carried Ashla back aboard the ship so tenderly. He hadn’t seen the clear love and affection he gave their daughter and to be honest, her. But the only way they could get past it was if she confronted him and he didn’t lie to her about it. At least that would tell her that he was moving forward in the light. 

Eventually Obi wan gave up trying to respond and turned, leaving the room. She’d never seen him so shaken, and she wasn’t proud that she’d caused it. But when it came to Anakin, she was tired of standing by and letting people do what they will to him and having to pick up the pieces afterwards. Maybe if she’d stood up for him like this before, none of this would have happened. 

 

\---

 

            He opened his eyes and immediately squinted at how bright the room was. He’d gotten so used to his helmet’s heads-up-display that auto-dimmed the eye lenses. His eyes started watering and his vision blurred so he squeezed them shut again. At the moment, he didn’t feel any pain, but he imagined that he would soon enough. If they’d succeeded at making it possible to exist without that suit, the surgery had to have been intense. He brought his hand up to block some of the light, so he could open them again and looked around. 

            He smiled when he saw Ahsoka sitting nearby, their child in her lap playing with a doll. It was still so hard to believe they had a kid, but watching her with it, well, it warmed his heart. He felt a twinge of guilt that he’d not reacted so well when Padmé had told him she was pregnant. He hadn’t wanted a family, that was the truth. The main reason was because a family would get in the way of being a Jedi. So would having a wife, but at least that was easier to hide. He watched Ahsoka for a few minutes. She’d always been so good with kids. She was a natural mother. The younglings had clung to her, and he wasn’t surprised in the least. He couldn’t say the same. He doubted he’d be a good father, even though Padmé would have been amazing with kids too. 

Ashla turned and saw that he had his arm up. She gave him a huge grin. “Daddy!” She flew into his arms before he had time to react.

            “Oof,” he responded in surprise. She kissed him on the cheek and he smiled, reaching out to touch her hair. He hated that he couldn’t feel with his hands anymore. The little girl leaned against him, babbling about her doll and he watched her in amazement. He didn’t deserve being accepted so easily. He’d done nothing to earn her love and yet, she already loved him. She was like Ahsoka that way. 

He looked up when he noticed that Ahsoka was standing over him, a soft smile on her lips. “Ashla, you need to be gentle with your father, he just had surgery. He’s going to be sore for awhile,” she chided.

            “Sorry, daddy,” their daughter looked sheepish.

            “She’s okay,” he said, for some reason feeling just as much at fault. “It’s just going to take some getting used to.” He was surprised that his voice didn’t sound so raspy. A lot of that had been the vocalizer in the suit, but he’d been told that the fire had damaged his vocal chords. The fact that he had any voice at all without it amazed him. He wrapped his arms around the child in his lap and rested his cheek on the top of her head for a moment, feeling a well of emotion spring up like it would burst forth from him without warning. 

            “I should tell you,” Ahsoka started and he glanced up at her, not liking the tone of her voice. “Obi wan is here.” His chest tightened, and he had to be careful he didn’t squeeze the little girl in front of him in response. “I didn’t tell him, but he found out. I didn’t even know he was alive.” He saw her swallow, but there was a flicker of something else in her eyes. She wasn’t happy about him being here. Did she know what had happened between them? His mouth went dry and he didn’t know how to respond. 

            “Then he knows…?” he murmured finally, trying to take a deep breath. Why did it matter if Obi wan knew him and Ahsoka had a child? Why did he care anymore? It wasn’t like there was anything he could do to earn his affection now. He didn’t need his approval anymore. But he still felt like a child who was about to be reprimanded. 

            “Yes,” Ahsoka replied through gritted teeth. “We had a bit of a,  _disagreement…_ ” she trailed off and looked away.

            “About Ashla?” he asked in surprise. 

She shook her head. “About you.” This didn’t sound good. What could Obi wan have said that would rile Ahsoka enough to argue with him? “Ashla, sweetie, would you go out in the hall for a few minutes so mommy and daddy can talk in private?”

            “Okay, mommy,” the little girl said obediently. Ahsoka lifted her off his lap and they both watched her leave until the door closed behind her. 

            “I feel like I’m in trouble,” he whispered, looking back at Ahsoka, trying to make a joke. But his smile faded when he saw her face. 

            “Did you kill the younglings at the temple?” she asked and he closed his eyes. 

            “Yes,” he breathed, looking down at his hands. He should have known that Obi wan would show up and fill her head full of bad things about him. He should be angry, but he was too tired to be angry right now. “I thought I was doing what I needed to do to end the war.”

She sat down on the bed next to him. She didn’t look at him immediately and he half expected her to tell him off and storm out of the room. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

            “Ahsoka,” he reached out to take the hand closest to him. She didn’t pull away, but he saw tears in her eyes. 

            “I can’t forgive you for that,” she said after awhile and his heart sunk in his chest. “But I told Obi wan that the council was as much at fault for it as you were.”

            “What?” he asked in surprise. 

            “You’re not blameless for the actions you took, but neither are the Jedi. The way they treated you led to this, and frankly, I can’t forgive them either. I told him that he failed both of us.”

            “What did he say?” He held his breath.

            “Nothing,” she replied, chewing on her lip. “He left without saying a word.” She turned suddenly and took both his hands in hers. “There is nothing that can be said or done that will undo anything that happened, but every choice you make from here on out will determine the man that you are and the one you want to be. I have never expected you to be perfect, and I know the road ahead won’t be easy. But I believe in you and I believe in second chances. So what I want to know, Anakin, is what are you going to do with this second chance? Who will you be?”

            “Who do you want me to be?” he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat.

            “I want you to be who you are. I want you to be the person that I love. I want you to make choices about your life because you feel they’re right, not because someone told you to. The only thing I want you to be, Anakin, is yourself. You’ve spent too much of your life a slave to other people and I won’t allow that anymore. So if you don’t know who you are, then you need to figure it out,” she said passionately. She stood up as if to go and then turned back to him. "By the way, since I doubt he'll tell you himself, Padmé gave birth to twins before she died." 

             "I have  _three_  kids?" he swallowed his nerves.  _Oh great_. He was just barely getting used to the idea that he had _one_... Would they be anything like Ashla? Would Ahsoka stay with him if he wanted all three of them? Or worse, if he didn't want them? He'd just admitted to killing children. And unfortunately... that wasn't even the only time. He really wasn't cut out to be a father. Or a husband. Or a Jedi... Sometimes he wasn't even sure he was a person. She was right, he'd been a slave so long he even saw himself as nothing. He didn't know what he was. He hoped she was patient, because he doubted he'd figure it out overnight. 

 

\---

 

Ahsoka headed out into the hallway to find Ashla. The moment she opened the door, Bail and Obi wan fell silent. She looked between the two of them but didn't say anything. Her daughter was sitting on the floor a little ways away, playing with the doll she'd made her before she'd left for Mandalore. The one that was meant to look like Anakin. Back when she'd believed that was the only way she'd ever know her father. She wondered what they'd been talking about, and whether or not she should be concerned that Ashla had been within earshot. They probably didn't realize how good of hearing she had. 

She stared at them a moment longer and then shook her head. "Ashla," she called and her daughter looked up. "Why don't you read your father a story?"

Ashla leapt to her feet in excitement. "Yes, mommy!" She slid a little running past her into the room. Ahsoka smiled, but it faded the moment the door closed behind her. She turned to Obi wan and Bail and crossed her arms. 

"I told him," she said. 

"And?" Bail paled in front of her, his hands clammy. 

"And he has some thinking to do," she replied, tired of all of the stupid games everyone was playing with them. This was exactly why Anakin was a mess. Everyone running around making decisions about his life without listening to him. Thinking they know what's best for him. Well maybe she didn't know either, but at least she was going to give him enough information to make an informed decision for himself. Had it always been this way and she'd never noticed until she'd left the order? Did they have any idea how terrifying the real world was when everything you'd ever done was directed by someone else? It had been even worse for her. Not only had she had to learn quickly how to make decisions for herself, even if they were wrong, she also had to make decisions for the good of her child. And what the hell had she'd known about raising a child? Nothing. Because the Jedi order hadn't prepared her for real life. They'd prepared her for war, for obeying without question, for believing the Republic was infallible or rather, that you couldn't question them even if they were wrong. 

Only Anakin's training had given her a chance at surviving out there where nothing was black or white and there was no one to tell you what to do. That thought was amazing in itself, because he'd been so kriffing confused he barely made heads or tails of it himself, let alone training someone else. It was probably a miracle that any of them had survived and were still alive. At least he'd never crippled her with self-doubt, because he’d taught her to process emotions and think things through. 

"To be honest, I'm tired of you both whispering behind our backs and deciding what to tell us. But since nothing I say will change that, then I guess I will have to be patient and hope someday it will all come to light." She turned on her heels and headed back inside. 

She stood in the doorway a moment, admiring the scene in front of her. Anakin was sitting upright with Ashla on his lap. She was leaning back against his chest, a book in front of her, reading aloud to him. He was watching her in fascination, as though he was hanging on every word. His arms were around her like he'd hold her forever. This couldn't be the same person that had killed children. He was so gentle, so tender, so smitten with their own. Did nobody else ever see this side of him? Why was she the only one that knew who he really was? The Jedi believed that love got in the way of duty and yeah, maybe it did. But love was so powerful, it could win more hearts and loyalty than fear ever could. 

There was nothing wrong with love. And nothing anybody ever said would change her mind about that. She studied him, admiring the softness and light that seemed to glow from all edges of him. To think that just a few days ago, she'd thought he was dead. To think that someone had tried to tell her he was evil, that there was no hope for him. She'd known better. A tear slid down her cheek and she brushed it away. He'd needed rescuing and she'd gone after him. And now, he was here, being the man and the father she'd always known he could be. 

Life wasn't black and white. It was a massive swirling storm of gray. Somewhere in that mess, they’d find a place for themselves. Anakin was good, but there'd always be some darkness to him. It made him edgy, mysterious and deep. And maybe he flirted with a line that shouldn't be crossed, but didn't they all? She was no saint either. She tried to be good, to do good, to help others. But she didn't always get it right. She couldn't be as selfless as the Jedi demanded. Maybe that was okay. Maybe that was part of being alive. She could admire and respect the masters that walked that devout path without ever wavering. But in all honesty, that sounded pretty boring. She wanted to make mistakes and learn from them. She wanted to grow and adapt. She wanted a peaceful evening alone and a chaotic adventure. She was as much a dichotomy as he was. Which was probably the reason his duality had never turned her away. She was like him. And she loved it. They saw the world the same way; a bright mess of color and a violent burst of love.

He looked up and smiled when he saw her standing there. He pointed to the chair by the bed, not wanting to interrupt Ashla as she read. Ahsoka shook her head but made her way to the chair and sat down. He reached out his left hand and took hers in it. She leaned her head on his shoulder and listened to the story their daughter was telling. She was so very glad he was alive, and even more that he was here. She felt whole again. She could breathe again. She could live again. 

After awhile, Ashla fell asleep, dropping the book onto the floor. But neither of them moved to pick it up. They both just seemed to be clinging to this one small moment of peace and happiness, not wanting it to end. She closed her eyes, feeling him in the force. Listening to his heartbeat and his irregular breathing. 

They both straightened when the door opened. Obi wan was standing there, watching them. She hadn't let go of his hand, and he hadn't let go of Ashla. But she'd felt him tense when he saw who it was. "Am I interrupting something?" His eyes fell on Ashla cuddled up against Anakin asleep.

"Not at all, master," Anakin said quickly. She almost wanted to smack him for still being so eager to please. 

A shadow crossed Obi wan's face. He didn't say it, but she could tell he was still haunted by the words she'd spat at him earlier. He seemed heavy and unnaturally old. She didn't blame him for everything, but she'd needed to get a point across. What Obi wan didn't seem to realize, was that whether he had always agreed with the council or not, his silence and unwillingness to stand up to them was just as devastating to their trust as committing the act. She didn't blame him for the circumstances around her trial, but she hadn't been able to shake the disappointment that he'd not fought just a little bit harder for her. Neither had Master Plo. Two people besides Anakin that she had loved and trusted had stepped aside and let the council determine her fate even if they didn't agree with it. And it had almost gotten her put to death. How could she put her faith in them after that? They'd made it clear that wrong or right, the council's decision was the only course of action and they would not question it.

Obi wan was just as much a product of his environment as Anakin was. He was raised to obey the council no matter the cost, and he'd performed that duty beyond all expectation. That was the problem. If he'd seen the damage it was causing, it never stopped him from inflicting it. 

"I'm glad you're here," he choked finally, his words wracked with emotion. He turned and fled the room before either of them could respond. She glanced at Anakin who was still staring at the door in surprise. He wanted to go after Obi wan, she could sense it. But he sat back against the bed instead, and dropped his shoulders, pulling Ashla closer to him and burying his face in her hair. Their daughter stirred a little but didn't wake. 

Ahsoka felt guilt creep up in her throat. Here she'd been blaming him for everything when she never really thought about how hard it must be to care so much when everything you'd been taught told you not to. She stood up and squeezed Anakin on the shoulder and headed after Obi wan. 


	3. Chapter 3

            Anakin held the child in his arms, his face in her hair loving the sweet smell of her shampoo. He couldn’t stop the tears from flowing and barely glanced up when Ahsoka squeezed him on the shoulder and went after Obi wan. 

            In front of him was a life he’d never believed was possible. One he’d never been allowed to have, but Ahsoka was right. It wouldn’t be an easy road. In that brief exchange with his old master, he’d read so much that probably Ahsoka didn’t even know. Obi wan was still haunted by the words he’d screamed at him when his life was falling apart around him. The echoes of their fight reflected in his eyes. No matter what Palpatine had said, turning on Obi wan had been like turning on himself. And in a way, that was exactly what had happened. He’d turned on everything he’d ever been or tried to be. If only Obi wan had heard him. If only he’d known how badly he needed to save Padmé. If only he’d tried to help him instead of telling him he was wrong. Maybe he resented the way the council treated him throughout the years, but he wasn’t convinced they were at fault for what he did like Ahsoka said. 

            He’d been standing on a slippery slope, threatening to drop him into nothingness. So what if it wasn’t the Jedi way? Couldn’t they have at least seen what was happening to him? They’d been so blind, so stuck in their ways. So he’d turned to the only person he truly thought would help him. Having no idea the cost of his decision, and trying to disassociate from it. The pain and disappointment in Ahsoka’s eyes when he’d admitted the truth would haunt him forever. He wished he could tell them all, that it wasn’t him. He hadn’t been in control. But it was a lie. He’d known what he was doing, and he hadn’t stopped himself from doing it. The fear had won, and he’d let it. And if any of it was ironic, it was that everything he’d sacrificed for he’d lost anyways. 

            “Daddy?” Ashla murmured and he lifted his chin off her. “You’re making my head wet.”

            “I’m sorry,” he choked and admired her bright blue eyes.

            “Why are you crying?” She took his face in her hands, running her tiny fingers across the scars. He’d forgotten for a moment that this child was born of two force users, so likely she was already coming into her own power and senses. How did you raise a child that could see right through you?

            “I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” he whispered.

            “Mommy says when you make mistakes, you have to think about them and learn the lesson they’re teaching you.” She brushed a curl out of her eyes and watched him sleepily. 

            “Your mother is a very wise woman,” he smiled.

            “She also said you can’t let them cripple you, so that you can do better next time.” He swallowed hard.

            “She’s exactly right.” She watched him, tipping her head to the side and he hadn’t realized that until this moment he’d never fully understood what love was. He thought he had, but it was probably just another thing he’d been wrong about. 

            “I overheard your friend talking in the hallway. I know I’m not supposed to listen to other people’s conversations, but I couldn’t help it.” She played with her hands like she was in trouble. “Is it true I have a brother and a sister?”

His lip trembled as he wondered what to say. “Yes,” he replied finally.

            “When can I meet them?”

            “I don’t know,” he said, biting his lip so it would stop trembling. “I’m not sure where they are.”

            “I hope we’ll be together soon. I always wanted to have a family.” He closed his eyes and took a deep rattling breath. He supposed saying he didn’t want them wasn’t going to happen now. How could he deny this perfect child anything? The thing was, ever since Ahsoka had told him, he  _did_  want them. He just wasn’t sure it was a good idea for him to have them. Ashla was different, she came with Ahsoka. She was a package deal. And since he wanted Ahsoka, he’d have to learn how to be a father to their child. Padmé was gone now, and he hoped that the twins had been given to a loving home. Could he, in good conscience, demand they be returned to him when he could make no guarantees about what he could offer them? Ahsoka hadn’t exactly said that she would be happy to help raise them too. How awkward would that be anyways? His lover having to raise the children of his wife? She would, he knew that, but would it hurt her to do so?

Besides, from what he’d understood when she’d sent him to Coruscant to fetch their child, Ahsoka had barely raised theirs. She’d been forced to leave her behind so she could keep fighting. They still had a deep bond somehow, but Ahsoka hadn’t gotten to be there. His gut clenched, that was his fault too. If they suddenly had three children in tow, how would they fight the Empire? Would the kids be constantly left behind while their parents left to fight a war, never knowing if they’d come back? It wasn’t fair at all. 

            He looked up when the door opened, surprised to see Senator Organa standing there. Ashla shifted back into him and he pulled her closer protectively. Bail watched them both for a moment and he held his breath wondering what he was even doing here. And then it dawned on him. Bail had been one of Padmé's closest friends. It was also suspected that he was heavily involved in the rebellion, but they’d never been able to prove it. If Ahsoka had been fighting for the rebellion, then she’d probably worked with him. 

            “Ahsoka swore when she went after you that she’d bring you back. I’m glad she was right,” Bail swallowed and shifted uncomfortably. “Can I ask you a question? You probably won’t like it, but I need to know.”

            “Go ahead, Senator,” Anakin gestured for him to continue. He was already baring his soul to Ahsoka and to a child and probably even to Obi wan, what was one more person?

            “Did you love Padmé?” Bail asked finally, suddenly bold.

            Anakin stared at him for a moment and glanced down at Ashla in his lap who he could tell was trying to pretend not to listen. “Yes,” he said. He didn’t know if the senator believed him. He could understand if he didn’t. Finding out he’d had an affair with his former padawan that resulted in a child while he’d been in a relationship with someone else, definitely didn't look like he’d loved Padmé. But he had. Very much. Padmé and Ahsoka were two completely different people and they each filled a different hole in him. That didn’t make it okay, though. Padmé was all he’d ever wanted until one day, he realized he wanted Ahsoka too. Who was he kidding? He’d wanted everything. “I loved her very much, though I know it doesn’t look like it. But I don’t think I ever knew what love was or how to love her like she deserved.”

            Bail nodded at him thoughtfully and smiled at Ashla who was staring at him with her huge, curious eyes. He seemed troubled about something, and it wasn’t until he watched Bail’s eyes flicker to the child in his lap a few times before he realized what. 

            “You have the twins, don’t you?” Anakin said suddenly,and Bail started a little. He watched a shadow of fear cross his eyes. 

            “I have one of them,” he admitted after a moment, looking very troubled. 

            “My brother or sister?” Ashla asked and they both stared at her in surprise. 

            “Togruta hearing,” Anakin explained to Bail. “She overheard you talking to Obi wan in the hallway.”

            “Oh,” Bail watched her with uncertainty. 

            “Sorry for eavesdropping,” she whispered and played with her hands.

            “It’s okay, child,” Bail replied, still sounding a bit shaken. “I have your sister.”

Ashla turned to Anakin with a sheepish grin. “Now you know where one of them is.”

            “So it would seem,” he smiled back at the little girl he was coming to love so much. She looked human, but if he didn’t know any better, she was a miniature version of Ahsoka. Other than her curly honey-colored hair and the shape of her eyes, he’d yet to see a single piece of himself in her. She definitely didn't have any of his personality. Maybe he didn’t have one.

            “I imagine you want them…” Bail stuttered a little, trying to hide his disappointment and finally Anakin understood why he was afraid. Just like he’d fallen in love with Ashla within seconds of meeting her, Bail had fallen in love with the child he’d been tasked to care for. Probably believing he’d never have to give her up. He studied Ashla’s curly head in front of him and he wondered if he could give her up if she’d belonged to someone else. Ahsoka had told him that he was to make decisions  _he_  believed was right, to choose who he was no matter what it meant for others. But could he do that? Really?

            “I do,” Anakin said and Bail looked down at his feet. “But don’t pack her bags just yet. There’s a lot that has to be figured out first. And since I assume she’s being well cared for and in no immediate danger, I don’t see why she can’t continue to stay with you for awhile longer.” The look of hope and relief that spread across the senator’s face reminded him, strangely, of the very beginning of his relationship with Ahsoka. How easily her mood went up and down depending on how he acted towards her and the words he spoke. They were all emotional creatures, clinging to any hope and happiness they could. It was why the Empire had easily power-grabbed control, but also the same reason they would eventually fail. He’d let himself believe that in the absolute power of the Sith, they were invincible. He hugged the girl in his arms. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Maybe the light side had more to lose, but they had more to fight for. 

            Ahsoka entered the room a moment later, with Obi wan right behind her. She nodded at Bail and marched up to the bed. “Say goodnight to your father, love. It’s way past your bedtime.” 

Ashla frowned but turned and hugged him. “Goodnight, daddy,” she said, kissing his cheek. 

            “Goodnight,” he whispered as Ahsoka lifted her out of his arms and disappeared out of the room again. 

 

\---

 

            He, Obi wan and Bail all stared at the door for a moment and then at each other as though they no longer knew how to talk like people without a child to break the ice. Anakin stared at Obi wan, studying him. He looked tired and old. His skin was tanned and wrinkly. His once sandy colored hair was beginning to fade to white. He looked like he’d spent way too much time in the sun. But that was stupid, who would choose a desert planet to hide on? And then he dropped his head in his hands feeling like an idiot. Of course Obi wan would go to Tatooine. It was the one place Anakin would never dare to look for him. He’d probably become a hermit, hiding in the valley, flogging himself for everything he believed he’d done wrong. 

He took a deep breath, hating himself. If anybody in this room had failed, it was him. Obi wan wasn’t perfect, but he’d never meant to let him down. “I’m sorry, master,” he let out a strangled sob. “I’m sorry for everything.” He heard the door open and close and peered over his hands to see that Bail had left the room. “I didn’t mean what I said on Mustafar. I don’t hate you. I was scared. My world was crashing down around me. I was losing everything.” The tears fell before he could stop them. The sobbing hurt his eyes and throat, but he couldn’t hold it in anymore. The bed moved as Obi wan sat down next to him on it. 

            “Ahsoka was right, I did fail you,” he breathed thoughtfully. “I didn’t want to see it, but I do now.”

            “I’m the one that failed…”

            “No, Anakin,” Obi wan interrupted. “I believed that raising you like I’d been raised was what was best for you. I didn’t know any better, so when it didn’t work, I kept trying to convince myself to push just a little more and it would get through. When I looked at you, I saw the person I knew you could be. I truly believed you’d get there. But the only person that ever got you closer to the man I imagined you to be was Ahsoka. I was jealous that you’d listen to her and not me, but at least then you were listening to  _someone_. If only I’d understood _why_ you listened to her. I want to be annoyed with her for the things she said to me earlier, but she was right. You may have committed terrible atrocities, but we are as much to blame for it. Can you ever forgive us for that?”

            Anakin stared at him in confusion. Why was he apologizing? What had Ahsoka said to him? Did he dare ask? He had to admit though, since Ahsoka had appeared on the battle cruiser a few days ago, she’d turned his world upside down. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, it was nice that someone had his back again. Not only had she rescued him from the tower by slaying the dragon, she was crusading through every aspect of his life… he smirked… and whipping everyone into shape. She was something else. He suddenly wanted some time alone with her. 

            Obi wan stood up and patted his knee. “You should get some rest so you can recover. We can talk more tomorrow.”

            “Master?” Obi wan froze with his hand on the doorknob. “Thank you,” he chewed his lip like a little kid. 

            “Goodnight, Anakin,” Obi wan nodded and left the room.

  


\---

 

Ahsoka nearly jumped out of her skin when Obi wan put his hand on her shoulder. She'd been deep in thought about everything that had happened since she'd gone running after Anakin. Perhaps it had been foolhardy, but she wasn't sorry he was here. It did complicate some things now though. She was also incredibly grateful to be reunited with her daughter that she'd been forced to leave behind to go on the run. She hadn't been able to risk returning to Coruscant for her, but Anakin could. And he'd willingly obliged. 

It had been rather terrifying to tell him about Ashla while the future was still so in flux. But when she'd been holding him there in the cell as he fell apart, it had slipped out before she really thought it through. In all honesty though, she wasn't sure her love for him would have been enough to keep him in the light. It had been their daughter that had sealed the deal. He was already so smitten with her, she wondered why she'd never before been convinced that if he'd known the truth he would have wanted her. She'd always believed knowing she was pregnant would have tipped him over the edge. But he'd tipped over the edge never knowing about her, so maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe she should have told him. So much for no regrets. 

"Sorry," master Kenobi said as she stared at him wide-eyed. "I figured you'd feel me coming."

"I should have, but I guess I was sitting here overthinking things," she bit her lip and looked away. 

"I can't say I blame you," he whispered tiredly and sat down on the bench nearby. They were on the ship they'd taken from the imperial cruiser, Ashla was asleep in the cabin on the other side of the door. They'd had a good talk earlier, but things were still a little tense between them. It was nice to know though, that Obi wan was capable of expanding his mind. 

"How'd it go?" she asked curiously. 

"About how you'd expected. At least there was no yelling this time," he said, dropping his gaze to the floor. 

"Well, give him time. This isn't easy for any of us," she tried to comfort him. 

"He doesn't need time, he needs you. And I was too stupid to realize it before. After what you told me earlier, I just keep thinking, what if we'd sent you after him instead of me? What if you'd gone to confront him with Padmé? I can't help but think, everything would have turned out very differently." He leaned back against the wall and stroked his beard. 

"Maybe. Or maybe not. But master, the only way we're ever going to get through this is if we stop living in the past. Maybe we can't forget or forgive what happened, and we should by no means ignore it. But we _can_ learn from it and we _can_ go from here. Anakin has a really difficult road ahead of him. Maybe he always did. But to help him, we have to give a little. If we condemn him, we'll lose him. _For good._ "

"Well, you know him better than the rest of us. So I'll defer to you on how to handle it." She didn't like his tone, but she decided to let it slide. She was too tired to argue anymore today. It was late, and she needed sleep. "Go, be with him. I'll watch over your daughter."

She looked at him in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"I never approved of how close you two were, but it was yet another thing I seem to have been wrong about. Yes, I'm sure," he replied. 

She studied him for a moment, half wondering if he'd just fly the ship away the moment she was off it. But Obi wan wouldn't do that. Would he?

"She'll still be here in the morning," he said, closing his eyes to meditate. "Safe and sound, I promise."

She hesitated a moment longer and then headed out of the ship. It was strange how she'd so easily trusted Nyx, someone she'd hardly known, with her daughter's life in the face of probably the most dangerous threat to the galaxy. Yet now, she hesitated to trust her daughter's life to someone that had once been a very good friend. But maybe that was why. He _had_ been her friend and he'd let her down. And maybe the reasons were more complicated than she'd understood at the time, but still... trusting him again would take some time. Now that she thought about it, she did trust Obi wan with Ashla’s life. It was her well-being she didn’t trust him with. Unfortunately tonight, her need to be with Anakin was winning. And she really hoped she wouldn't regret it. She didn't think her heart could handle another betrayal. 

  


\---

 

He blinked a few times wondering what had woken him up and then he realized that Ahsoka had climbed in the bed next to him. He smiled even though she probably wouldn't see it and threw the blanket over them both, pulling her closer. He watched her breathe for a few minutes wondering if she was already asleep. He'd missed the way it felt to have her curled up next to him. Strange how one night could so completely change his perspective on everything. 

Padmé hadn't been much of a cuddler to be honest. She'd been a strong, independent woman both in the senate and in bed. For a long time, it had suited him just fine, never having slept in the same bed with someone before. But after awhile, he'd wished they could cuddle. Ahsoka was also a strong independent woman, but it was nice to feel needed. She was a cuddler, she liked him close. Even before they'd taken their relationship further, she would find excuses to be near him especially at night. It was especially interesting since he’d known for a long time she didn’t really like to be touched by people. He and Rex were the only ones she ever seemed okay with hugging or pulling her close. As far as he knew, she didn't have nightmares like he did, so he'd never been able to figure out why she was always seeking comfort. Unless she wasn't seeking comfort, but rather offering it to him. 

How long had she known he was falling?

"Since I met you," she murmured suddenly. "You liked to pretend that nobody saw you, but I did. I always did."

"I feel pretty stupid that I never noticed before," he replied. 

"You did." She shifted so she could look up at his face. "But you were afraid to let me in."

"I was afraid of a lot of things." The knot formed in his throat again.

"I know," she breathed and pecked him on the cheek. "We have the rest of our lives to psychoanalyze everything. Tonight, let's just play a game."

"What kind of game did you have in mind?" The heat rose in his cheeks as he remembered the last couple games they played.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," she laughed. 

Admittedly he was a little disappointed. "Where's the fun in that?"

She opened her mouth like she was going to say something but closed it again. He looked at her in concern, but she just shook her head. "Okay, so I'm going to picture something, and I'll give you three hints and then you have to guess what it is."

"Uh oh," he murmured good naturedly.

"Okay, first hint: it has four legs. Second hint: purple and blue feathers. Third hint: a high-pitched squawk."

"A varactyl," he said. "Too easy."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Okay then, your turn."

"Hmmm..." he looked up at the ceiling. "Fire, blue, white and orange, and no respect for authority."

"Are you really picturing me?" she giggled, rolling onto her back and knocking hips with him so he'd scoot over. 

"Hard not to when you're so close," he breathed. She turned her head to look at him again. He loved how brilliant her eyes were even in the dark. 

"First hint," she started, rolling onto her side. "Red. Second hint: children playing. Third hint: stone blocks."

He knitted his brows in confusion as he mulled over the three hints. He worked through them, struggling to understand how they were connected. The only thing that kept popping into his mind was something violent, but he doubted that was what she was referring to. He closed his eyes, reaching out with the force trying to pry into her mind to figure out what she was thinking. She smacked him on the arm and he blinked in surprise.

"No cheating," she said. 

"Red, children playing and stone blocks? I give up," he laughed. She sat up, turning so she could look at him. He studied her face wondering what was on her mind. He thought they were playing a game, but the mood had turned serious. She stared past his head for a moment and then looked back at his face. He started coughing after a few minutes because he hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. 

She leaned over him so one arm was on either side of his chest and she looked down at his face. Her eyes had darkened, but not in a dangerous way. "Red is the color of love, but also blood. It can be both warm and scalding. It's the color of my nails, and the color of your soul. It's the color of anger, but also passion and excitement. It's our color, our truth." Her voice was low and sultry, he shivered as her words seeped into his skin. "Children playing is a dream, I long to be true. And stone blocks represent building, foundations, beginnings. So, what I was really thinking of, Anakin, was the future. Will you be there?"

"Yes," he said without overthinking it. He'd wanted to say he hoped so, but that felt too uncertain. He wanted the future she'd described. The one where he had her, and Ashla and the twins. Where they’d have the softness of love but the excitement and passion. Their color, their truth. He’d never look at red the same way again. He didn't know if it was possible, but he wanted it more than he wanted anything else in the world. He reached around her and pulled her down on his chest, nuzzling into her lekku and refreshing his memory of the way she smelled and felt against him. He couldn't believe he'd ever let Palpatine make him believe these people were his enemy. Maybe he didn't always see eye to eye with Obi wan, but he loved him anyways. Maybe Ahsoka had left him, but it was because she'd known the truth he'd tried so desperately to hide. She'd been protecting herself and her child. How could he blame her for that? He'd had Rex, a loyal soldier and a good friend. He'd had Artoo. And Padmé and the order. He'd thrown it all away because some crackpot old man had promised he could work some voodoo magic to save his wife. And instead, he'd destroyed his entire life. He should have known better than to make deals with the devil. "First hint," he breathed. "A sword. Second hint: a tower. Third hint: a dead dragon." 

She moved so she could lean her forehead against his. "As long as you'll let me, I'll be your knight." She kissed him on the lips, softly at first. They fell deeper and deeper into each other's souls. 

"Forever," he breathed. "I want you to forever be my knight."

"I'm all yours. And may I just say," she tapped her finger on his nose. "It will be a great honor."


	4. Chapter 4

            Ahsoka woke first, but didn't want to disturb him. She watched him sleep for awhile, feelings rising in her she'd tried to bury after believing he was dead. She had no idea what the future held, but when he said he'd be there, she believed him. How strange her life had turned out to be. And not at all like she'd imagined it. From the very first time she saw him, years before becoming his padawan, she'd had the strangest sense that he was, or would be, a major part of her life. She'd never understood why that feeling had stuck with her, but it had. She couldn't help but wonder if perhaps the force had always known it would play out this way. 

The vision she'd had of her future self on Mortis had told her that she'd never see her future if she remained his student. But that hadn't been the reason she'd left the order. Though now that she thought about it, maybe it had been right. Obi wan seemed to think that if she'd gone with Padmé to confront him on Mustafar, they would have been able to bring him back and the last three years wouldn't have happened as they did. She wasn't so sure. If she'd gone with Padmé, it would have forced Anakin to choose between them, something he'd have been incapable of doing in that state of mind. So likely, it would have meant, she'd have had to sacrifice everything to help _them_. Which of course, no matter what she wanted, she would have done. 

Then what? Anakin still would have lost the order, he would have been in no shape to be a father, the Chancellor still would have been trying to twist his mind and worse, what if Padmé had died anyways, just like his visions had shown him? He would have been an emotional wreck trying to raise two kids with nothing left in him to fight for. Could she have helped him then? Knowing his unpredictability and having a better than most understanding of his state-of-mind, she highly doubted it. Not to mention she'd have had her own child with him in tow which wouldn't have helped the situation in the least.

As awful as it was, the Emperor had given him stability and a sense of purpose when he'd believed he lost everything else. Two things that he desperately needed to survive and were most likely rooted from his past as a slave. The most difficult hurdle he had to overcome now was finding a way to be confident in his own decisions and opinions rather than looking to someone else to make them for him. It would be difficult for her too. Because even while trying to support him, she had to think about her daughter's needs, and her own. And she could in no way offer him stability. Not with the state the galaxy was in right now. Which is one of the many reasons she'd not begged him to leave the order with her when she'd left. Until she'd found her own confidence and stability again, there was nothing she could have offered him. 

This wouldn't be anything like being a general, where though he'd had some freedom, he also had a safety net. She sincerely hoped that Obi wan would help in that department. Though, now he too, was left questioning the stability he'd believed he had for years. Wrong or right, he'd stalwartly believed in the Jedi code. In that way, he had something stable to hold onto. And she'd shaken his faith in it. So in trying to be Anakin's knight in shining armor, she might have actual messed everyone up. _Oh great._

She believed in the things she'd come to learn about life, but much of it had been trial and error, and she'd been forced to accept what the Jedi had never understood about the real world; what was right for one person or group, wasn't right for everyone. So naturally, where one group believed the Jedi were helping by incorporating certain standards and ideals, another group thought they were meddlesome monks that ruined everything. Which is actually why, even if the Chancellor hadn't been playing both sides of the war, the Jedi never would have brought peace to the galaxy. So though she believed in the rebellion and what they were doing, she had to keep reminding herself that the only way to help people was to free them. Any more than that, and a planet would go from one occupation to another. 

Which is also why, it riled her that the Jedi had put so much pressure on Anakin as the 'Chosen One', because it basically absolved them of any responsibility or repercussions of the end result. And worse, it put it all on _his_ shoulders; a boy they never supported in significant enough ways to even give him hope of accomplishing that. And she had a hunch, though no one had said it, that they were doing the same thing to his children. They hid away, not cleaning up the mess they helped create, waiting for the twins to get old enough to save the galaxy. And now they knew about Ashla too. 

She had been teaching Ashla the force from the first moment she was old enough to begin understanding it, but she in no way wanted her to grow up fighting or be expected to save anything. She had as much right to be free to choose her own life as the rest of them. So no matter what, she was not going to let Anakin fall back into what people expected of him. He wasn't going to be a slave anymore. And if she had any say in it, neither were any of his kids. It was time the remaining Jedi grew up and learned to take responsibility for their own actions. That had been the true root of her argument with Obi wan yesterday. It wasn't that she wanted to put the blame on him, it was that she wanted him to _see_ the part he'd played in it. To learn from his mistakes, not to hide from them. 

There was a knock on the door and she sat up when the doctor came in. "Good morning," she said cheerily. "I need to check his wounds and run some tests. Have you noticed anything off about him?" 

Ahsoka smiled and climbed off the bed so she was out of the doctor's way. "Well, he had a bit of an emotional rollercoaster yesterday, so if anything was wrong he was probably too distracted to notice. His breathing seemed irregular, is that normal?"

"It will be, unfortunately. Because of the way we had to protect his lungs so they don't collapse, it won't be very even. He should avoid strenuous exercise for at minimum a week, but I would recommend two. His body was in pretty bad shape, it will take awhile to heal." The Doctor went to work undressing the wounds, and Ahsoka watched sadly as the extent of the damage was revealed in front of her. She hadn't been watching too closely during the surgery because she'd been trying to keep Ashla distracted. 

Anakin flinched when the doctor pressed part of his abdomen, and opened his eyes. "Ooh that hurt," he said.

"It looks like you have some swelling near this incision. Also a couple of the stitches didn't hold. You two weren't rolling around last night were you?" The doctor chuckled. 

"No," Ahsoka replied, blushing. "But I think our daughter might have gotten a little too excited when he woke up."

"Understandable," she replied. "Though may I recommend not letting her jump on him for awhile."

"Of course, Doctor." 

Anakin glanced at her, looking surprisingly disappointed. "Can I still hold her?" Ahsoka smiled, loving how quickly he'd gotten attached to Ashla. 

The doctor finished patching up the wounds again and flashed him a grin. "Yes, but perhaps let her sit next to you instead of on you. Might make all the difference." He looked relieved and his eyes brightened when he met eye contact with Ahsoka. "I'll be back in an hour, and we'll have you get in the bacta tank for awhile. Your body badly needs a boost in electrolytes and medicine to make sure there's no infections."

"Will that help heal his skin too?" Ahsoka asked.

"The damage to his skin is extensive, the burns caused scarring that will never completely heal. But yes, it will reduce the visibility of them considerably after a few sessions." 

"But I spent time in the bacta tank nearly everyday before the surgery and none of it ever healed," he looked confused.

"Perhaps the mixture in the tank you were using was incorrect. Without knowing the solution used, that's the only thing I can think of. Bacta tanks are very versatile and it's usually hard to mess up the mixture since it's set by computers, but it's possible." The Doctor finished up and washed her hands. "I'll be back in an hour."

Anakin stared at the door after the doctor left. "I don't think it was messed up on accident," he whispered. She glanced at him. "Part of what gives you power on the dark side was to use your anger, hatred and pain to fuel you. I had plenty of all of that, so I was never at a loss for a power source. But now I'm wondering if the Emperor purposely made it so the tank would never heal my wounds to keep me in a perpetual state of pain. That suit was like a torture device too. There was nothing comfortable or luxurious about it. He put me in it before I was conscious enough again to resist."

"That's awful," she came over to the side of the bed to take his hand. 

"I tried to upgrade it or improve it, but there wasn't a lot I could do. Not to mention I always had servants around watching my every move. Probably reporting back to him constantly." He looked over at her and sighed. "You were right, I was a slave."

"You're free now. I'll never let you be one again," she promised. He smiled sadly at her and then they both looked at the door when it opened again. Bail came in first, followed by Obi wan who was carrying a very sleepy Ashla. She was nuzzled into his neck, her arms over his shoulders, her doll in her right hand. 

"Did she not sleep very well?" Ahsoka asked concerned but surprised to see a bit of a glow on Obi wan's face. Whether he approved or not, he liked Ashla. She had that effect on people. She was a bit worried about what Obi wan might have been telling her or teaching her, or worse, that maybe he'd tested her abilities. 

"My fault entirely, I'm afraid," Obi wan said. "When she started asking me all sorts of questions I let her stay up so we could talk. "I think I failed my first night of babysitting." Ahsoka glanced at Anakin, her brow raised. But he smiled at her so she tried to relax a little. "I'm sure you're both aware how long-winded I can be."

"It's not his fault, mommy." Ashla brought her left hand back to rub her eyes. Ahsoka shook her head but smiled anyways. Glad to see that they seem to have bonded some. She stirred like she wanted to get down and Obi wan reluctantly obliged. She came over to hug her and Ahsoka ran her hands through her hair. "Please don't put him in timeout." They all laughed before they could stop themselves. How would you put a venerated Jedi master in timeout? 

"Well then, what do you believe is a suitable punishment?" Ahsoka asked her, kissing her on the forehead. 

"No story before bedtime," Ashla replied, blinking a few times and looking more alert. 

"Very well, I'll make sure he's put to bed with no story." Ashla grinned at Obi wan and he laughed. 

"I'm sorry you won't get your story tonight," she said. 

"I will accept the punishment, it is what I deserve," he replied.

"That goes for you too, though, love," Ahsoka said. "If he doesn't get a story tonight, neither do you."

"Why?" Ashla whined a little.

"Because you kept him up with questions, so you're both responsible," Ahsoka told her gently. 

"Okay, mommy," Ashla wiped her nose on her sleeve. "Can I say good morning to daddy now?"

Ahsoka wiped her face clean and ran her fingers through her hair. "Yes, Ashla. But you need to not climb on him today, okay? We want his wounds to heal." Ashla nodded and headed over to the bedside, climbing up on the chair and sitting down on the bed. 

"Good morning, daddy," she said and surprisingly gently, leaned over to hug him.

"Good morning," he said, grinning. Ahsoka didn't think it was possible to love either of them more than she already did, but when she watched the two of them together, her heart felt so full it might burst. "So what fascinating things did you learn from Obi wan that kept you both up all night?" He looked over her head and smirked at his old master who had just crossed his arms as though he were completely innocent. 

"Ahsoka," Bail whispered stepping closer to her. "Could we have a word in the hallway?" She glanced at him, saw his face and nodded, sorry to leave the adorable scene in the hospital room, but knowing that Bail probably had news. She was certain the Emperor knew by now that he'd lost his apprentice. It was time to face reality again and get back to business. "I'm sorry to take you away from that, but I thought you'd want an update."

"I do, Senator. Thank you." She crossed her arms in front of her and stroked her chin. 

"Obviously Palpatine doesn't want to publicly admit that he lost control over his 'weapon' or so he refers to Anakin, but I've been hearing a lot of reports that he's initiated random scans and searches all over the galaxy. They're targeting hospitals and medical facilities first, for obvious reasons. So I have no idea how much time we have before they end up here. This place unfortunately isn't a secret from the Empire. I assume you both took precautions and disabled any trackers on your ship?"

"We did, yes, but without a droid, it's possible one could have gotten missed," she replied thoughtfully. "Though I assume if it was traceable, they'd be here already rather than doing random searches."

"Indeed," Bail said. "Even so, there's no spaceport here, so it's pretty obvious. It might be worth destroying it and we could find another one for you two to use."

"It could be valuable to have an imperial ship, even if they're actively looking for it. But you're right, we can't stay here much longer. The doctor wants Anakin to spend some time in the bacta tank. There is a few of them on board the ship, so perhaps we could set him up there. I think I know a place we could hide for a few weeks while he recovers from his surgery," she said. "We'd need some supplies and a medical droid."

"Of course," Bail replied. "I also thought this might help." He whistled and Ahsoka turned to see Artoo coming down the hallway. She grinned, so happy to see the droid and greeted him profusely. "I'm not sure if he was Padmé's droid or Anakin's, but either way, I think he should go with you guys."

"I always thought he was Anakin's but I never knew for sure either. Jedi weren't supposed to have possessions, so I always wondered how he got away with having a droid. Him belonging to Padmé would explain that." She patted Artoo on his domed top and he whirred in contentment. "Either way, I know Anakin will be really happy to see him." Artoo beeped excitedly. "Yes, you heard me right. Anakin is alive." Artoo jumped around a little as though he was doing a happy dance. "Yeah buddy, I'm happy about that too."

Bail smiled, "Its settled then. I'll go gather some supplies for you guys and load up your ship. You talk to the doctor and figure out what needs to be done to get him set up there. I didn't have a chance to ask Obi wan what he's doing, but I imagine for now, he'll probably want to head back to Tatooine."

"Is that where the twins are?" Ahsoka asked.

"Anakin didn't tell you?" 

"It didn't come up," she chewed her lip feeling kind of stupid.

"I have the girl, Leia. The boy, Luke, is on Tatooine with Anakin's half-brother, Owen Lars. Obi wan settled there to keep an eye on him."

"I see," she replied feeling a bit annoyed. She'd have thought they'd keep them together. One being raised as a princess and the other one as what? A farmer? She'd been to both planets, it was a dramatic contrast in lifestyles. It seemed very unfair. Hopefully they could get them all together soon. Though she supposed, a family of force users would be a lot harder to hide than when they're all in separate corners of the galaxy. Oh well, she didn't want to hide anymore. They had to, for the time being. But she really hoped Anakin was interested in helping fight for the rebellion. She'd never push him into it, but they could really use his help.


	5. Chapter 5

Ashla laid down next to him, cuddling into his side and he held her close. Loving how easily she'd accepted him, but more than that, how she seemed to want him. She also seemed to feel safe with him, which considering his past, surprised him. Of course, she didn’t know his past. There was a lot of it even Ahsoka didn’t know. He bit his trembling lip as she drifted off asleep, having worn herself out telling him what all her and Obi wan had talked about last night. How quickly he'd gone from never wanting kids to wanting all three of them. 

He glanced over at Obi wan who had sat down in the chair near the head of his bed. He seemed lost in thought but was staring at her. "I know what you're thinking, master," he said finally and Obi wan glanced up at him. "But I'm not going to be ashamed of her or my relationship with Ahsoka. Or even Padmé for that matter."

The corner of Obi wan's mouth twitched but he shook his head. "No, that wasn't what I was thinking about at all." He stroked his beard, something he'd always done when he was deep in thought. "I was thinking about how remarkably balanced your daughter is. Usually younglings her age come to the temple with some sense that they're different and that they have power but it's chaotic at best. They have no control over it and no ability to focus it. I'm sure you've sensed how powerful Ashla is, but it's not like that at all with her. In fact, she's very mature in her sense and understanding of the force. She's able to focus and learn. For one so young, it's unusual. I keep thinking about how Master Yoda liked to say that the force works in mysterious ways. It would seem, well, perhaps there's a lot the Jedi weren't right about or didn't know." 

"That sounds strange coming from you, master," Anakin murmured. 

"Perhaps." Obi wan leaned back against the seat. "From the moment I got here yesterday, Ahsoka has been standoffish with me. Despite everything, I convinced myself she was being irrational and overly-emotional. That perhaps her years away from the order had hurt her ability to remain calm, and that being a parent made her forget the dangers of attachment." He sighed. "Whether I like what she said to me or not, I sense the same balance in her. And I'm beginning to see that her hostility towards me was justified. I didn't believe she was guilty of the crimes she was accused of and I told the council as much. But when I was overruled, I fell silent rather than fighting for her. Believing that I was being a good Jedi by letting go of my attachments and obeying the council. And then I saw you, and the devastation her departure caused, and still, I believed I'd done what was right; I'd followed the Jedi code. What more could anyone ask of me?"

He fell silent for a moment and Anakin went to speak, but Obi wan waved his hand. 

"Despite leaving the order, she remained firmly rooted in the light side. Despite her attachments, she _is_ calm and focused. Despite the betrayal she still stands up for the people, for others and continues to fight for them. So now I understand her protectiveness of you, even her belief that she must protect you from me. You did a far better job with your padawan than I did with mine. Which is ironic, because I never approved of the way you taught her. So clearly, I was wrong about a lot of things."

"Master..." Anakin started. 

"I have a lot of thinking to do," Obi wan interrupted. "I feel like a youngling again."

"Obi wan..."

"I dreaded what I'd see when Bail told me Ahsoka had run full speed into the middle of the Empire and brought you back.” He kept going, clearly not wanting to be interrupted or derailed. “But my curiosity got the better of me and I couldn't stay away. Could it really be true that she’d returned you to the light? I had to see it for myself. When I got here and found Ahsoka sitting in the room with a child on her lap that clearly belonged to the both of you, I thought, oh no... how could you? And now, I can't stop thinking, how could you not? She'd done all the things for you I never could, it was no wonder you'd gotten so close. That you'd taken your relationship that far. Then I saw the three of you sitting there, like a little family and no matter what I believed, I could not deny the balance I felt in you too." He reached inside his robe and pulled out a lightsaber. Anakin's eyes widened in surprise. "I was saving this, in hopes of giving it to your son someday. But it was also a symbol... of both my failure, and my loss of you." He reached out to hand it to him, but Anakin shook his head. 

"That lightsaber doesn't belong to me anymore," he said, a tear rolling down his cheek. "It's a symbol of my own failings too. It should be destroyed. If any of my kids choose to follow the Jedi path, they should have their own. I will not weigh them down with my own mistakes."

"Change of plans," Ahsoka said, coming into the room and freezing when she saw the lightsaber Obi wan was holding. "Sorry to interrupt, perhaps I should have knocked first."

"It's okay," Obi wan said thoughtfully, dropping the hand that was holding Anakin's old lightsaber in his lap. 

She looked between the three of them, her eyes resting on Ashla curled up into Anakin. "The doctor is going to help me set you up in one of the bacta tanks aboard our ship. We need to get out of here or we put everyone here in danger. The Emperor is looking for you and it won't be long until they sweep this facility. I know a place we could stay for awhile, and Senator Organa was nice enough to send us a little help." She stepped back against the door as a blue and white astromech wheeled into the room.

"Artoo!" Anakin exclaimed and nearly leapt off the bed, but remembered he was tethered by a sleeping girl. The droid beeped and whirred excitedly and wheeled over closer to the bed so Anakin could pat him. 


	6. Chapter 6

Ahsoka sat back against the seat after inputting the coordinates and jumping the ship into hyperspace. So, this was their lives now; holing up on an old Separatist battle station, hiding from the Emperor? Bail hadn’t said it, but she knew that Palpatine wasn’t only looking for Anakin. She was already a wanted woman, stealing his apprentice away had probably topped the most wanted list. And if there was any chance the Emperor knew they had a child… she didn’t even want to think about the consequences.

The place they were headed was risky. If Palpatine had played both sides of the war as everyone believed, then he probably knew all about the Separatist bases still out there as much as the Republic ones. But she’d frequented this place a lot acting as Fulcrum for the rebellion. It was a perfect place to run information between rebel cells. It was fully equipped with top of the line, at least during the clone wars, listening technology. It had defenses, it had a breathable artificial atmosphere despite being run by droids. It was well hidden, and intact. It had a hanger that could be closed so they could hide their ship, and perimeter sensors. Though of course, it was a very dangerous place to raise a child.

She glanced over at Ashla who was watching the stars streak by in amazement. She was definitely Anakin’s daughter. Not that she could be anyone else’s, but she doubted he’d yet realized how much they were alike. She saw it every time they were together. Her heart was bursting with love, for both of them. She’d dreamed of them being a family for so long, but that dream had died with him. Or at least it had died when she’d thought he had. Even when she’d known him and Padme were going to have everything she’d always wanted with him, she’d still been able to dream about it. It had been a small comfort to have him in her dreams at least.

When Bail had told her that Anakin was alive, but that he’d turned evil, she’d raced to his side without stopping to think it through. But what was there to think through anyways? She’d known in the deepest reaches of her soul that even if it were true he’d become a Sith, he could never be completely evil. There’d been too much love in him. Thankfully her rash behavior hadn’t allowed room for doubts. Because if she’d stopped to think about what she was doing, well… she was glad that it didn’t play out that way. It made her wonder what had made her so confident she could bring him back to the light. She was grateful she was right, but admittedly, a bit surprised at how quickly he’d fallen into her arms. She’d expected a fight, negotiations, something… Something other than what she’d gotten.

She still was worried about the consequences of bringing her into the middle of this, not terribly confident that she’d be able to protect her and keep her safe. At least with Anakin here now too, she knew he’d watch out for their daughter like he’d always watched out for her. And of course, Artoo was here with them as well. It almost felt like old times… and yet… completely new times since they’d added a crew member and they’d all changed quite a lot. She was dying of curiosity about how this would all play out. Her and Anakin hadn’t had much time to talk and figure things out that probably needed to be figured out. He’d not made mention of whether or not he wanted the twins. At least not to her. He’d not said anything about whether or not he was willing to help out or join the rebellion. She had no idea how invested he’d be in raising Ashla or even where he sat with the force. All she knew for sure was that he was depending on her and she’d do whatever she could to support him.

He’d been disappointed when Obi wan had declined their offer to come along, saying that his duty was elsewhere. She knew he meant he was going back to Tatooine for the time being. And maybe it was for the best. She felt guilty she hadn’t been very nice to him since he’d appeared, but she supposed she was still riding the rollercoaster of everything that had happened in the few days since she went running after Anakin. That him showing up with his ‘I know better than you’ attitude had tipped her over the edge. At some point, things had shifted and he’d been a lot more humble and receptive to the things she’d been trying to explain to him and that had made her back down quite a bit. It hadn’t solved everything, but it was a start. Considering what he’d told her about the last time he’d seen Anakin, she was more grateful they were getting along than it really mattered if she was getting along with him.

Well either way, like she’d told Anakin on the battle cruiser, they’ll get through this. It just might be rough, or interesting. “Mommy?” Ashla said.

“Yes, love?”

“Are you happy now?” she asked.

“Very,” Ahsoka replied. Artoo beeped something behind her and she tried to hide the smile.

“Why don’t you sound happy?”

“To be honest, my love, I’m a little nervous about the future.”

“Are you worried about daddy?”

“Yes,” Ahsoka said, swallowing hard. It probably wasn’t appropriate to tell her daughter so much, especially things that might make her worried or afraid. But she always wanted to be honest with her.

“Why?”

“Because he’s been through a lot and he has some difficult choices to make. I’m worried I won’t be able to support him like he needs.”

“I think you will,” Ashla said matter of factly and then fell silent. Ahsoka smiled to herself.

About an hour into the trip, they received an encoded transmission from Bail. It was lucky they hadn’t taken longer than it did to get out of there. According to him, the Empire swept the medical facility a mere thirty minutes after they’d departed. That was cutting it way too close. He said that as far as he knew, they found no evidence they’d been there and since after uploading all of Anakin’s files to their medical droid, they’d had Artoo erase all record of him in the hospital computers. The suit Anakin had been wearing had been melted down in their cremation room and they’d erased the security footage of all of them as well. Had it not been for all of that, they might have gotten out of there sooner.

Ashla went to the medical bay with Artoo to play and be near Anakin. Ahsoka leaned forward and recorded a transmission that she sent to Rex, hoping he’d get it. He deserved to know Anakin was alive too. She encoded it with their old 501st code and gave him the coordinates of where they’d be. She hoped he was alright, she’d not heard from him for awhile now.  



	7. Chapter 7

            He felt the tap on the glass as much as he heard it and braced himself for the bacta tank to be drained, opening his eyes when the liquid went beneath his chin. He watched her work as she prepared to pull him out of it. She paused a moment to smile at him and he thought how strange it was that a few days ago the people that greeted him from the bacta tank weren’t nearly as pleasant. The irony of course, was that he trusted her far more than he’d ever trusted any of his servants. They’d been there against his will anyways; an unfortunate necessity to being crippled in such a way. Of course, he was sure now that the Emperor had never trusted him and had taken probably an obscene amount of pleasure in keeping him in pain and enslaved. Granting him just enough responsibility so that he wouldn’t feel like a slave and it bothered him more than he cared to admit that he’d not even realized that he’d become one again until Ahsoka had asked him if he was tired of being one.

            "Well I have some good news and some interesting news," Ahsoka said as she toweled him off and got him back in the bed and out of the harness. "The good news is we made it to our home for the next couple weeks and with Artoo's help, I think I got it pretty well fixed up for us to move in." She went about redressing his wounds and he just watched her in amazement. From the moment she’d reappeared in his life, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how beautiful she’d become. But it wasn’t just her looks, he was realizing. There was a glow about her. He loved the way it felt every time she appeared in the room, she instantly brightened the space. He loved the way she was with their daughter, how sweet and patient she was with them both. But he also loved the way she’d stood up for him and defended him, both against the Empire but also Obi wan and the others. She went to work reattaching both of his mechanical legs and his left arm and then handed him some fresh clothes to put on and turned her back.

"Wait, where is my other arm?" he asked after fighting to get the pants on one-handed. He’d been so distracted watching her, he hadn’t even noticed she hadn’t put all four of them back on.

"Well, that's the interesting news," she said as she helped him into the shirt and buttoned it up. Then she pulled back the curtain, so he could see Ashla standing opposite one of the medical beds with his right arm completely apart in rows of pieces all over the bed. 

"Oh no," he murmured as he stared in surprise at the once very intact mechanical appendage now completely unrecognizable as an arm.

"Yeah, that's what I said too. Apparently, she got bored and dismantled it while I was cleaning house. I was going to punish her but look closely, she's deep in meditation. When I asked her why she'd taken it apart she said she 'had to.' Honestly Anakin, I've seen that look before. It's the one you always made when you're tinkering or fixing things. She is your daughter after all." Ahsoka chuckled a little and admittedly he wasn’t so sure why she was laughing. At least Artoo was here and could help him put it back together. _Hopefully…_

"Are you telling me a four-year-old is going to fix my arm?" he smirked, and she gave him a teasing grin.

"I think she's going to do more than fix it. I think she's going to improve it. Look at the way she's studying it. You can almost see her mind working through the puzzle.”

He chewed on his lip as they watched their daughter. To his surprise, Ahsoka was right. She appeared to be deep in meditation, waving her hand over the neat piles of parts in front of her. Not far away, there was a toolbox open on the chair. “Obi wan said she was very powerful. That she was mature in her understanding of the force and could focus her abilities better than any other youngling he’d met that was her age,” he whispered thoughtfully. “Though forgive me if I still am not quite convinced that a child is going to reassemble an advanced technological prosthetic.” Ahsoka glanced over her shoulder at him.

“When I had to make the choice to leave her behind and let her be raised by Nyx, I was disappointed that I wouldn’t have a chance to train her in the force. And then when I joined the rebellion, I knew I couldn’t go back for her. It would put her in too much danger. But from then on, I had visions nearly every night. It always started out the same way, I was in her room watching her sleep. I could feel her in the force, I could touch her skin, I could talk to her. I didn’t know if any of it was real, but I watched her grow up in front of me. Through this bond, I trained her as much as I could. From the earliest moment I believed she’d understand, I taught her everything I could about the force and how it worked. I didn’t want her to fight, but I wanted her to at least have a chance to understand the universe and herself. So when you brought her back to me and she not only looked exactly like I saw her in my dream visions, but she also knew me, I realized that maybe the Jedi didn’t fully understand the power of force bonds. Which was understandable if they’d never allowed attachments. We always had a deep one too…” Ahsoka trailed off looking troubled and he pulled her closer. She studied his face.

“That’s why you felt my nightmare isn’t it? You’ve always been very strong in the force yourself, and if we had that deep of a bond…” She brought her hand up and ran it down his cheek.

“I always felt your nightmares, Anakin. It didn’t matter where you were or where I was, I always knew when you had one.” She leaned into him and he rested his chin on the dip between her montrals. “I even felt the one you had about Padme. When Obi wan told me about it, I was shaken, because I’d had it too. The problem was, I didn’t know if it was my baby crying or hers. I didn’t know the end result of it. And I most certainly didn’t know it was imminent. I just keep thinking… What if I’d tried to reach out to you? What if I’d left Mandalore and gone back to Coruscant, would it have made any difference?”

“Ahsoka, you can’t blame yourself. You’ve already done more than anyone could ever have asked of you,” he whispered. “I wish I hadn’t been so scared to let you in. If I’d been thinking clearly enough to ask you for help, maybe I never would have fallen into the Chancellor’s trap.”

He felt her sigh up against him and she looked up at his face again. “Like I told Obi wan, as hard as it is, we have to let the past go. We’ll drive ourselves mad with what ifs or should haves. I think there were a million different factors that conspired together to make it happen as it did, and it would be foolish to think that one change would have fixed it. All we can do now is learn the lesson it taught us and…”

“Not let it cripple us so we can do better next time,” he finished, and she looked at him in surprise. “Ashla said you taught her that.” Ahsoka smiled softly and dropped her forehead against his chest for a moment and then she turned around to look at their daughter again. He pulled Ahsoka back into him between his legs as he sat behind her on the bed and held her with the only arm he had left. They watched in silence as Ashla began putting pieces of the arm together.

“Maybe you two should work on it together,” she said after awhile.

“There will be plenty of machines for us to work on together, I want to see if she can do this by herself,” he said thoughtfully.

He didn’t know much about children and what they were capable of, but as he watched the way Ashla worked through the pieces, he was certain Obi wan was right about her. He’d never seen anyone that young so focused or strong in the force. In fact, it reminded him of the way it felt when he’d worked on C-3PO as a kid. He’d mostly put him together without instructions or help. Falling into a trancelike state that he now knew was meditation. Perhaps he was underestimating her. He’d been eight when he’d started working on Threepio, twice her age, but it was still quite an advanced piece of machinery for him to have put together so young. He wondered what had happened to the droid after Padme had died.

“Bail has him,” Ahsoka said and he started a little. His servants on Mustafar had not been force users, so he’d forgotten what it was like to have people around him that could sense his thoughts and feelings. “He’s helping watch over Leia.”

“Who is Leia?” he asked in confusion.

“Your daughter, silly,” she said, pushing him gently.

“Oh,” he murmured. _Leia_ … It felt like a distant memory. Was that one of the names Padme had suggested for their child? “I only knew Bail had her. He didn’t tell me her name or where the boy was.”

She glanced at him looking somewhat pained and he wanted to kiss it away. “Well… there was a lot going on the last few days, that might explain the broken pieces of information we kept getting,” she said softly, but he felt a surge of annoyance in her tone. He took her chin in his left hand and kissed her lips.

“Let it go,” he whispered. “It will all be revealed in time.”

“You’re telling me to let go?” she raised her brow at him and rolled her eyes.

“Look Ahsoka, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. For slaying the dragon and crusading around trying to fix my life and relationships and everything. But it’s time for me to fight my own battles again. Please be patient with me. And them.”

“Of course,” she said and dropped her head.

He pulled her towards him, kissing her on the forehead. “I’d hold you tighter if I had my other arm,” he joked. She didn’t look up but he felt her smile. “You’re still my knight in shining armor and admittedly, I’m trusting you to know when to step in guns a blazing. I just don’t like seeing you so frustrated with everyone. Even if they deserve it.”

“Sorry, I guess I’ve been in mama mode the last few days.”

“Don’t be silly,” he smirked. “You’ve always been this way. It’s what I love the most about you.” She laughed hoarsely.

“Daddy!” Ashla said suddenly and they both looked over at her and his eyes widened. Ahsoka stepped out of the way and he stood up, heading towards the bed that a few minutes ago was covered with scattered pieces. “Look!” She picked up his arm and came around to give it to him. He took it from her, looking it over. It appeared to have all the same parts but it didn’t look anything like his other one. “I fixed it.” He stared at the curly haired little girl in front of him in awe. He didn’t think they’d looked away that long.

“It’s amazing, love,” Ahsoka came over and patted her on the head. “Let’s see how it works.” She took the arm from him and helped hook it into place. He flexed his muscles admiring how it moved so fluidly and easily. It felt far more real than before. It also felt lighter, not so bulky.

“Come here,” he said and he knelt down and hugged her tightly.

“Do you like it?” she asked, looking up at him anxiously.

“Very much,” he smiled. Reaching out to brush the metal fingers along her cheek and then he stared at the hand in surprise. He touched her again.

“What is it?” Ahsoka asked, watching him curiously.

“Ashla,” he started. “Did you only use the pieces that were already a part of it?”

“Mostly,” she replied. “But I added a few parts I found around the ship.” He looked up at Ahsoka, his eyes wide. His heart was racing and he tried to take a deep breath.

“I don’t know how,” he said. “But she made it so I can feel with my hand again.” Ahsoka’s eyes widened too. He brought his left hand up and touched his daughter’s cheek but felt nothing. So he ran his right hand through her hair and thought he’d start crying as he felt how soft it was against the metal hand.

“Did I do something wrong?” Ashla asked, glancing between them.

“No not at all,” he whispered, his voice cracking. The tears started falling and he kissed her little angelic face a hundred times.

“Daddy!” she giggled. He fell back onto his butt and pulled her into his lap.

“You are perfect,” he breathed. “Can you do it again with this arm?” He held out the left one.


	8. Chapter 8

He watched his daughter for a few minutes while she slept. It was late. He'd let her stay up so she could fix his other arm too. He was starting to feel overwhelmed. He hadn't had any chance to think about what Ahsoka had said in the hospital about deciding who he was going to be. He didn't know. It still felt like everything was just happening to him. For at least the next two weeks he was stuck here on the battle station until he'd healed enough to get back into the action. Did he really want to go back though? 

He sighed and stood up. He tucked Ashla in and kissed her cheek, leaving the room as quietly as possible. He was restless. He'd been pretty much confined to a bed and now the ship. The doctor had given him strict instructions not to do anything strenuous until he'd had a few more rounds in the bacta tank. It meant he couldn't train either. He was afraid to meditate too, scared he'd slip back into the darkness that had stolen so much of his life. But he had good things in front of him too. He wanted to let the past go, like Ahsoka said... but could he really?

She didn't have to live with so much blood on her hands. _Red is the color of love, but also blood_... red. _Their color, their trut_ h. Maybe she _did_ understand. Probably more than he gave her credit for. "Keep watch, would you buddy?" He set his hand down on Artoo. "Comm one of us if you need something?" The droid beeped something that sounded like he didn't want to babysit but would anyways. Anakin just laughed and headed out of the ship. 

He moved through the station noticing that Ahsoka had locked down the majority of it, turning off all non-essential systems. It was strange they were living on something they use to destroy. He hadn't yet explored the place, so he had no idea where she was. He passed a viewing window into another hanger and retraced his steps. He peered into the room, his face against the glass. There was a whole army's worth of droids; basics, sbd's and even a dozen vulture droids. That did not make him feel very safe. These probably weren't even the only droids still here. At least they were all off right now. Staring at them brought back terrible memories and he finally had to move along. He'd have to remember to ask Ahsoka what her precautions were when it came to them being accidentally activated. Like perhaps by their mechanical genius of a daughter. That would not end well...

He saw a light on at the end of the hallway, and headed in the direction of the voices. He stopped in the doorway of the command center, but Ahsoka wasn't there. She'd set up multiple stations to listen in to imperial chatter. In fact, that was the voices. So many different things going on at once. He moved inside, mentally decoding some of the encryptions as he heard them. Even as part of the Empire, he'd never had access to this much information. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He couldn't listen to this right now. He didn't want to think about the awful things they were doing. 

Was this what Ahsoka did for the rebellion? His eyes fell on a small holographic projection of part of her facial markings. Fulcrum. Why hadn't he connected the dots before? She was the fulcrum? The rebel leader the Empire had been hunting for years? Did the Emperor know that? Had he known she was alive? He saw a light flashing at one of the stations and put on the headphones, flipping the switch to hear the recording. 

"Operator 256781 calling big brother. We've been getting reports of Jedi activity on Parkanis. We believe there is a surviving settlement of force users that evaded order 66. Dispatch inquisitors and send in grand daddy." 

He pulled off the headphones and stared sadly at the control panel. More people were about to lose their lives and there was nothing he could do about it. Even if he were to race there right now, he'd never make it in time. There was a sinking feeling in his gut. He helped create this. All because he'd wanted to save Padmé. Which he'd failed to do anyways. And now... people all over were suffering and dying because of it. Ahsoka was listening to all this horrible information, all this stuff he was responsible for. And she still loved him? How?

He found her in a large mostly empty room. She'd pushed all the stuff that had been in it to the side, stacking it out of the way so she could train. He stood there for a long time, watching her. She'd changed into some shorts and a cropped tank top and appeared to be deep in meditation. He was surprised to realize she was moving through their old training exercises as though prepping for battle still. 

He could see the glimmer of sweat even from across the room and shook his head. She never did anything halfway. It was all or nothing for her. She trained hard, she played hard, she worked hard and she even loved hard. Funny how she'd always credited him for all her successes, because really, the only thing he'd ever done was encourage her. She was the one that made it happen. He wished he could be more like her. 

He closed his eyes, feeling the room and the force around her. She was like a beacon of light in the middle of the darkness. Shining bright like a guiding star. She lit up the force like a bonfire, but Obi wan was right. She wasn't just firmly rooted in the light side, she was balanced in it. He let go of his inhibitions and opened himself up, prying into her energy that ironically he'd never liked her doing to him. He felt his way around trying to understand how she could live a life so opposite of the Jedi teachings and yet not be losing to the crushing darkness. 

She paused in the middle of her exercises and he knew he'd been discovered. He moved towards her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back into him. If it had startled her, she didn't close herself down, if anything, she opened up more when he touched her. He admired the feel of her skin against his new mechanical hands. He rubbed his cheek against her smooth, yet slightly fuzzy, lekku. She tipped her head back, leaning into his shoulder. And he felt her cast her senses over him.

He shivered as the thousands of pinpricks of awareness ran across his body. He felt vulnerable and naked but he didn't stop her from reading him. He slid his right arm up her belly, resting it under her breasts as he breathed her in. Admiring the way her body molded perfectly against his. He kissed her on the shoulder, working his way along until he nuzzled between the lekku to reach her neck. He smiled into her skin when he heard her inhale sharply and smack her lips together. Her fingers dug into the back of his hands. 

Oh he still wanted her. He still wanted her so badly. But as much as he was reveling in being able to feel again, that wasn't why he'd come looking for her. He set his chin down on her shoulder and took a deep breath. "There's so much I want to say to you. So much I've bottled up inside. So much I'm still so scared of," he breathed. She didn't say anything and he assumed she was waiting for him to continue. "From the first moment I met Padmé when I was a boy on Tatooine, I wanted her. I even remember thinking I was going to marry her someday. That was before I learned that Jedi don't allow that, of course. But even so, I _did_ marry her. Shortly after the battle of Geonosis, when I took her home to Naboo. For obvious reasons, I had to hide my relationship with her." He paused for a moment wondering if she'd close down on him. It was weird to hold her so intimately and talk about his relationship with someone else, but he needed to say it. And honestly, he didn't think he'd have the nerve if he let her go or if she was looking at him. To her credit, she remained open. He appreciated her so much more in that moment. "It wasn't long after that when the Jedi did for me, probably the only good thing I ever believed they'd done; they gave me you. I resented it at first, because I'd just gotten married, I'd just been knighted, I'd finally been able to start making decisions for myself. It was the first time in my life I'd ever felt... _free_. And then they dropped this huge responsibility in my lap. I was so mad, I thought they would never understand me." He squeezed her tighter still, burying his face in her skin. 

"I thought having a padawan would slow me down. I didn't want to have to explain myself to anyone. It was bad enough I was sneaking around behind the council with a relationship I shouldn't have, now I had a little kid watching my every move. Do you know how hard you were to escape?" She laughed softly and he sighed. "But the thing is... it wasn't long before I realized I liked having you around. In fact, you weren't a burden at all. I felt just as free, if not more so, with you there. And probably for the first time in my life, I let down my guard some. There were still things I didn't want you to know, but it wasn't personal. I didn't want _anyone_ to know.

"My love for Padmé was a kind of agony. It was all consuming, like it would eat away at me from the inside out. It was possessive... it was wrapped in fear; what if I lost her? What if I couldn't live without her? What if I couldn't protect her? What if she didn't want me? I didn't understand love enough to know that this wasn't how it should be. It wasn't like that with you. I was afraid of losing you too, of letting you down, but when you were around... I was calmer. I felt... _safe_. Maybe even balanced, though I doubt I was ever balanced. I didn't have the same fears about you leaving me because well, you fought so hard to stand by my side. But I was so obsessed with her, drowning in my fears and insecurities, I never noticed the difference. At least not until you left. For a long time, I blamed you for my life spiraling out of control, but now I see that it was out of control long before I met you. I can't even blame my secret relationship with Padmé.

"I'm still so confused though. I now know why the Jedi forbade attachment. I did all the things they warned against. But I look at you and I see someone who has lots of attachments, even a child, and you're still calm and focused. You're still balanced even with them. How? How do you love so much and not turn dark?" he cried into her. Until he understood her secret, until he understood how she loved... he'd be no good to anyone.

She was silent for a few minutes but then she turned in his arms. "Because I don't hold back," she whispered, taking his face in her hands. "If I love completely and recklessly then I will always know that even if I lose them there was nothing more I could have done. I trusted that they'd be there and let go of anything I couldn't control. Love is something you can't control, and you tried so hard to. You dealt it out in small doses like you were playing sabaacc, expecting that at any moment someone would fold and you'd lose them forever. If you ration your love to protect yourself from getting hurt, you destroy any chance at having a healthy relationship. You loved Padmé, but you were scared to lose her. So you were constantly throwing out your line and reeling it in so you were never completely open. Padmé loved you, but she also loved her job and her responsibilities. She believed in the work she was doing. She didn't have time to measure it out. She just focused it on whatever cause fell in her lap. Whether she was spying on the separatists, fighting for the people or loving her husband. It didn't matter. Whatever was in front of her at that moment was what she loved the most. It didn't mean she loved you less, she just wasn't thinking about you nonstop like you thought about her. To you, it felt like you were being brushed aside. So you got jealous and afraid. The thing is, Anakin, people love differently. Look at the three of us, even if you add Obi wan into the mix, each one of us has a very different type or way we love others.

"Obi wan loves people by doing his duty. He believes that by following the Jedi code and performing his function as a Jedi, it is the most he can give people. He loves them by protecting them and their interests, but only from afar. I love people without expectation. I let them be whatever they need to be and do my best to help them achieve that. Sometimes maybe I'm too forgiving. But I learned how to love like this because of you. You were deep and complicated, you were a dichotomy of ideas. So I got a lot of practice learning how to go with the flow. The only thing that mattered to me was not letting you destroy yourself. So I guess I got really good at loving you wherever you were; good day or bad day. Reckless or calm. In or out. Here or there. And I learned that I could love you just as much no matter where you went or where I'd go. So even though I left, I still loved you. Even though I didn't call, I still loved you. My love was rooted in believing I was doing what I had to, to help you achieve what you wanted. And you wanted her. So I loved you while letting you have her.

"But I guess none of us were good at communicating our type of love to each other because we were all raised in an environment where it wasn't appropriate. So understandably, things got lost in translation. _Important things_. Do I live in fear of losing Ashla? Yes I do. But I know that if I'm afraid, I'm more likely to make the wrong decisions. So all I can do, day in and day out, is the best I can and hope it never comes to that." She ran her long fingers across his cheek, lightly tracing one of his many scars. Even as her words washed over him, he didn't understand how she could look at everything he was and still love him so much. He had a lot to learn. 

He took her face in his hands and pulled her in for a kiss. "I don't know who I am. I don't know who I'll be. I don't even know what I want anymore. The only thing I'm sure of right now is you. I need you to teach me how to let go, and how to live again. You want me to be myself but I don't know what that means. I think I did once, but somewhere along the road I lost it. So if there's room in your life for a troubled soul... I'd like to shack up here for awhile."

She blinked up at him. "There will always be room in my life for you. The only thing I'll ask of you is something you told me ages ago; if you're going to let someone down, explain to them why. Ashla loves you already. I know you love her too. If you decide not to stay, which I will never force you to, just promise me you'll tell her why. Can you do that?"

"I don't know. And I hope it doesn't come to that. But if it does, I will try," he murmured feeling heavy and light at the same time. She was right, he was a dichotomy.

She smacked him lightly on the arm and he looked at her in surprise. "Then welcome aboard. Shall I show you your room?"

"Well if it's not too much trouble, I was hoping I could bunk with you," he smirked. 

She pursed her lips like she was thinking it through. "Perhaps that could be arranged." She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to her level. "But you'd better be on your best behavior."

"Oh, I have no intention of behaving."


	9. Chapter 9

Anakin wasn't there when she woke up, which surprised her. Was he still not sleeping well? She hadn't been sensing nightmares from him lately, so she didn't know what could be causing his restlessness. She smirked to herself, well that wasn't true. She'd always known that inactivity would get the better of him. He was probably off tinkering with something. She rolled to the side and saw a note on his pillow. Her eyes widened when she looked at it; it was a quick sketch of her facial markings... the symbol she'd been using as fulcrum.  _Oh no!_

She leapt out of bed in a panic, yanking on her pants and buttoning her tunic and grabbing her lightsabers. She wanted to trust him but seeing that note sent her into a frenzy. From the moment she’d gone racing after him, it had never once occurred to her that he could be playing her. She’d been surprised he’d given in so easily and that should have sent up a red flag right there. She’d not sensed any deception in him, but there was still some lingering darkness in his energy. It hadn’t worried her because he’d always had that. 

Her mind was running a mile a minute, thinking of all the things they’d revealed to him by bringing him into the fold. He knew about Ashla, he knew about the twins. He knew about her and Bail’s connection to the rebellion. He knew Obi wan was alive, he had Artoo who had all the information on the rebellion and probably wouldn’t hesitate to give it to him if he asked nicely enough, and worse, he knew where they all were… How could she have been so stupid?

She paused just briefly at the door to Ashla’s room, she was still asleep. She tiptoed away from her door and then took off in a run down the hallway, skidding to a halt in the doorway of the command room. Anakin was sitting at the main console with Artoo plugged into the computer. He didn’t even look up. “Hey, Snips,” he said so casually she tried to calm her racing heart. He spun around and she tried to fake a smile, probably overcompensating because he looked at her confused. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just warming up my muscles,” she replied looking past him so he didn’t read her. Who was she kidding, he probably could feel her from there. But if he could, he brushed it off. 

He held up a datapad in his hand. “With Artoo’s help, I created an algorithm for all these incoming transmissions to be auto-translated for you, since I know the encryption. Or at least most of it,” he said thoughtfully and stared at the thing in his hand looking somewhat frustrated. “They seem to have added a few new ones, or they’re ones I never got to know about. But look here.” He got up and came over to her, showing her the datapad. She took it from him feeling really stupid that she hadn't trusted him. “So last night I listened to one of the recordings that came through before I found you and obviously, you know what the inquisitors are, but I didn’t know if you understood some of the other code names they use. So ‘grand daddy’ means one of the grand inquisitors. The grand inquisitors were Jedi that we turned to the dark side. Inquisitors are force sensitives that didn’t have formal training and aren’t nearly as strong. So with this translation algorithm I had Artoo spike the computer with, you'll get a readout that has the original message along with the translated version. I thought it might help you with what you're doing." He bit his lip and studied her. 

"It does, thank you," she said still a bit breathless. 

He seemed to hesitate a moment like he wanted to say something else, but instead he shrugged his shoulders and turned away. She closed her eyes and tried to quietly take a deep breath. On the one hand she felt stupid that she'd doubted him, he'd been nothing but open and sincere since they'd escaped the Empire. On the other hand, she had no way of being certain that not only he was giving her the correct translation or that the data spike they'd put in the computer wasn't doing more than translating messages. And now they'd she'd experienced her first moment of uncertainty... she was afraid about being alone with him for the first time since they'd made the decision to stick together. She really hoped she wouldn't end up regretting this. 

After all, people don't change overnight, and Anakin has been like night and day. Was it possible for him to flip the switch back to light, just like that? If so, what's to say it wouldn't flip back at any second?

"By the way," he started without turning back around and she looked up at the back of his head. "Your shirt is on inside out."

She looked down and nearly started crying. Not only was it inside out, it wasn't buttoned properly. She was still holding her lightsabers in her hands instead of clipped to her belt, which probably had given her quite the hostile look. She wasn't wearing her boots or gloves, so it was pretty obvious she'd dressed in a hurry. 

She leaned back against the wall and sunk down to the floor, dropping her face onto her knees. She heaved a sigh and wondered if she'd just destroyed any chance for them to get through this. She had so much faith in him. She wanted to. But maybe she was more afraid than she thought? Maybe she _should_ have thought this through. Maybe she _should_ have let Bail finish. There was a lot she didn't really know about what was going on, but all she'd done was defend him. What if she was the one that was wrong? Could she be _that_ wrong about someone's true nature?

"What's wrong, mommy?" She nearly jumped out of her skin when Ashla shook her on the arm. "Why are you crying?" She looked over at their daughter, she looked like a little angel standing there in her nightdress and bare feet, her curly blonde hair was unruly and wild, crowning her precious face like a halo. All that was missing were wings. She dropped her knees to the ground and pulled her daughter down into her lap, hugging her tightly. She didn't answer, she didn't know what to say. She glanced past her at Anakin who had looked over his shoulder and was watching them. He too was probably waiting to hear what she'd say. 

"I'm scared," she said finally looking back at Ashla's face. 

"Why?" Ashla asked, playing with one of her lekku. _Why?_ Such a simple question. If only the answer was equally as simple. 

"Because sometimes even adults don't know what they're doing. And sometimes we make decisions without thinking it through. And sometimes those decisions test our faith in the people around us and in the force," she whispered sadly, wondering what Anakin thought of her now. He probably thought after everything she'd said last night, that she was a hypocrite. 

Ashla wriggled out of her arms and went over to Anakin. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Are you scared too?" she asked, taking one of his hands in both of hers and playing with his fingers. 

"Yes I am," he said after a moment. 

"Well I don't know much about what's out there." She pointed out the viewport. "But in here, we have each other. And I think, as long as we have that, we don't need to be scared." Ashla climbed onto a nearby seat and fell silent. 

Her and Anakin just stared at her for a moment. Then before she could stop herself, she was on her feet and she landed on Anakin's lap. She pulled him into her arms and nuzzled into his neck, hating how stupid she felt now. It was a few minutes before he held her back. She didn't blame him for hesitating. And she probably deserved to be shoved off it. But he didn't push her away. Maybe she was too forgiving. Maybe she was too trusting. But she didn't want to live in fear of him. People being afraid of him was probably what started this mess to begin with. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered in the force. "I'm so sorry." He tightened his hold on her, but he didn't respond. 


	10. Chapter 10

"Ashla, could you do me a favor?" he asked after awhile.

"Of course, daddy," she said obediently. 

"Would you help Artoo run a full diagnostic on the ship?" Artoo beeped something about not believing that was necessary since he'd done it just the day before. 

"Okay!" Ashla jumped to her feet and padded out of the room. "Come on Artooie!" she yelled from down the hallway. Artoo beeped and whirred in annoyance and reluctantly rolled out of the room. 

"Give her a chance, buddy," he called after him. "Hey, watch your language, I don't want her learning that!" Ahsoka looked up at him and he sighed. He reached out and started unbuttoning her shirt and pulled it off her shoulders. Then he flipped it right side out and put it back on her. "Get up," he said finally, and she got off his lap. "Pick up your lightsabers and follow me."

She followed behind him in silence, her head bowed. It was strange how much their roles had reversed and yet there were still things that hadn't changed. He didn't feel great knowing she hadn't trusted him, but then again, had he really given her reason to? If anything, she'd given him far more trust than he deserved. He'd thought leaving that note on his pillow would tell her where he was. It hadn't occurred to him she might take it to mean he knew what she did for the rebellion and had decided to turn her over to the Emperor. He couldn't do that. Not now. 

All respect he'd ever had for the man had vanished when he'd discovered just what lengths he'd gone to in order to keep him enslaved. And that likely, that had been his plan all along. He didn't really want to be part of the rebellion even though he knew Ahsoka was probably hoping he'd help. Which was why he'd had the idea this morning to make her job  listening to Imperial chatter easier. 

There was something else tugging on his heart right now. Something he really felt he needed to do. He didn't know if it was a good idea, and he certainly didn't know yet how he was going to do it. But he needed to. He wasn't sure he'd ever find peace if he didn't. 

But whether he deserved it or not, the look on her face this morning, the wild fear... it hurt. They went inside the room she'd been training in the night before. He closed the door behind them and went to stand in the middle of the room. She stood by the door, shifting uncomfortably. He unclipped his lightsaber, the one he'd gotten as a Sith. He wasn't sure why he'd grabbed it this morning, probably thinking he'd run through some exercises later. He'd not wanted to touch it even, since leaving the Empire. But since he hadn't taken his old one back from Obi wan, it was the only one he had. And he didn't like being weaponless. He also was afraid of Ashla finding it and hurting herself. 

He ignited it and moved into his usual defensive position. Without the heavy and bulky suit, he had better range of motion again. And now that he could feel with his mechanical hands, he felt more in control of his lightsaber and the force. Though admittedly, other than their little force connection the night before, he'd closed himself off from it. What he was about to ask of her would test him to the limit. _Was he in the light again or just hiding from the dark?_  

She watched him nervously, instinctively reaching for her own lightsabers. "Fight me," he said finally. 

"I don't want to fight you." She crossed her arms.

"You wanted to a few minutes ago," he taunted, pacing back and forth. She looked hurt and he realized, she didn't seem to understand this was, _hopefully_ , just a sparring session.

"I didn't want to fight you then either. I was just..."

"What?"

"I was afraid, okay? I'm sorry! I don't know what I'm doing! I feel like I'm in over my head. I went from talking to my daughter once a day through the force to having to figure out how to care for her all-day long. I've been adamantly defending you since the moment I pulled you out of the Emperor's grasp, despite everyone telling me I was being foolish. I didn't believe them, how could I? I knew who you were once... but I've been wrong about people before. I've been betrayed more times than I care to count, and I don't know who to trust anymore!" Tears welled up in her eyes as she chewed on her lip. He could see her shaking even from across the room. "But I _want_ to trust you. I always did before. You and Rex were the two people in my life I trusted with everything. Can you imagine what it was like for me to find out..."

"That I turned to the dark side?"

"No..." she dropped her shoulders. "Actually that, I understand. Whether I liked it or not, you've always had a touch of darkness in you. We all do."

"That I murdered children?"

She looked up at him, her eyes narrowing in her distinct predatory manner. How she could go from soft to scary in a matter of seconds, would never stop unnerving him. "I want to understand," she said through gritted teeth. "But I'm not sure I ever will. Things like that... they're unexplainable. There is no excuse you could give me that would ever make it okay. Despite that, I still want to trust you. I still want to believe in you. I still want to give you another chance. And that makes me feel naïve. It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me afraid of love. And I don't want to be afraid of love."

"Fight me," he said again, waving his lightsaber in front of him. 

"But..."

"Fight me, and then you'll know." He rolled his shoulders. "Then we'll both know."

"What about your stitches?" she asked stubbornly. 

"They can be fixed. But if you don't start the fight, I will."

She closed her eyes and he felt her fall into the force. She bent her knees and dramatically swung her dual lightsabers into her reverse grip, igniting them behind her. It caught him off guard, as he stared in surprise at the white blades that were almost blinding. How did she have white ones? When she raised her chin to look at him again, a chill ran through him. Despite every emotion she'd just confessed to him, there was nothing in her eyes but a calm focus and a grim determination to survive. And that, that was why he'd always believed her to be fearless. It wasn't because she was actually devoid of fear, it was because when she fought, she could shove everything to the side as though she could lift off her skull and dump out anything that didn't serve her in that moment. And now... being on the receiving end of that cold predatory look... it was terrifying.

She rubbed her toe against the metal floor, and then as fast as lightning, she was on the move. She ran at him with such speed he was certain if he'd blinked, she would have swept right through him. As it was, he'd barely dodged in time, having to leap out of the way of her second attack that had followed barely a split second behind it. For the first few minutes of the fight, he'd not even had one chance to strike at her. She kept him so busy blocking by expertly bombarding him with strike after strike after strike. First low, then high, she'd spin and when she did, he never knew exactly where her blade was going to come from. 

He'd never seen her fight so intensely, and that was saying something, because she'd always been intense. And if he didn't let go of his fear of the force, she was going to slice him into pieces. He dodged a few more hits, _just barely_ , and force leapt to the side, thinking he'd have a moment to open up. But she was flying at him from above before he'd barely taken a breath. He saw the opportunity and he took it, throwing her back as hard as he could, releasing all the pent-up pressure he'd been running from his whole life. 

He threw at her every heartbreak, every loss, every fear, every angry thought, every moment of hatred, everything he'd suffered. He unleashed it on the Togruta in front of him, feeling the darkness swell in him like it had when he let it win. She fought through it as though she were swimming upstream. She didn't back down, she pushed forward, rising to meet his intensity with her own. He let the darkness fuel him, he didn't think. And then suddenly he saw her face, as she bobbed and weaved around him. It was like there was a halo of light around it. She was a ball of glowing white, moving through a torrent of red fog.

He saw her crying out to him, he saw the look of concern, he saw her reach for him and he stumbled backwards as the red that had blurred his vision began to recede. In that moment he felt a rush of love, as though someone had dunked him into a pool of light. He closed his eyes falling into the feeling, his muscles moving purely on instinct. He danced around her attacks and felt, in surprising calm and clarity, that she too had leveled out. 

He blinked at her, seeing her face as though it was the first time he'd ever really seen her. She was standing in front of him, her two white blades pushed against his one red one as they both fought for domination. He wasn't exactly sure what had happened, but he felt different; _cleansed_. He met her eyes and they both stepped back and turned off their lightsabers. Considering the exertion he'd just spent, he should be exhausted but for the first time in his life, he felt... _alive_. 

He dropped his lightsaber and stared at her face, admiring every inch of it as though he'd never fully noticed or appreciated how perfect she was. 

"What happened?" she asked.

"I think... I think you loved the dark right out of me," he said softly. 

"Uh... I'm not sure that's how it works." 

"Well... one minute I was drowning in the darkness, having given in completely to it. And the next, I saw your face and a rush of love. Suddenly I didn't feel dark anymore. I've never before experienced a moment of pure light. It had always been tainted somehow. It was... exhilarating." He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer. "Can you do it again? Let me feel it again." He pressed his lips against hers and she resisted for a moment and then she opened up for him. He melted into her fire, surprised that it didn't hurt him at all.


	11. Chapter 11

“I can't believe I let you fight. Look at this, you're a mess. Half of your stitches broke and once I can get the bleeding to stop, I'll have to activate the medical droid to patch you back up. You'll probably need another round in the bacta tank,” she sighed as he laid back against the bed she'd helped him into while she worked on his wounds. “Why did we do that?”

“Look Ahsoka, I don't care about the wounds, they'll heal,” he gritted his teeth. They hurt, but he didn’t want to admit it. He was still flying high from whatever had happened inside that training room. “Ever since you rescued me, I've been terrified of the force. I haven't wanted to touch my lightsaber, I haven't even wanted to meditate. I was afraid that if I opened up to it again, I'd find nothing but darkness. You’re scared to trust me, but I can’t blame you for that, I don’t even trust myself. At least when I wasn't open to the force I still had you and Ashla and Artoo. Closed off from the force, my life was good. I didn't want to lose everything again, I didn’t want to lose control.” 

“Anakin...” she murmured. “The force is a choice. When you open up, you don't just get flooded with the dark or light, you choose one.”

“But I didn’t choose anything. When I opened up in order to fight you, the darkness just took over. I saw you as I’d seen everything as a Sith; the enemy. It was like a blanket of red fog and you were just the target in it. But then I saw you cry out to me, you reached for me. And it was like suddenly you came into focus in the middle of the chaos.” She sat back on the nearby chair looking troubled. “What?”

“Anakin, I didn’t reach for you,” she whispered. “I was fighting like it was life or death.”

“But I saw you…” 

“There’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Ever since I left the Jedi order and even more so after finding you again,” she started. “I think love  _is_  the force. It’s not some mystical substance that only force users can use or understand. Love is what connects us. Love is what binds us. Love is what penetrates us. Love is what holds the universe together. The dark side is just the absence of love. So when you felt that rush of love, that wasn’t me. That came from within you. It wasn’t my love for you that saved you, Anakin. It was your love for me.”

                He opened his mouth like he was going to argue but then closed it again. “Fear doesn’t turn you to the dark side… it only blocks the light. It blocks love.” He sat back against the bed and stared at the ceiling. “I was so afraid of losing everyone that it suffocated all the love I felt for them. And every time I lost someone, I became more and more afraid until…” He looked at her helplessly.

                “Until you suffocated yourself,” she murmured, scooting her chair closer to the bed and taking his hand in hers. “Anakin, what happened in there was you opening yourself to love again. The surge of light that you felt, was the walls you’d built around your heart falling apart. Whatever it was that you saw me do, was likely a memory that made you feel love. Because I have reached out to you, hundreds of times. This was the first time you really saw it.”

                He took her hands in his, bringing them to his lips and kissing them softly. Then he leaned his cheek against them. "How come when I look at you, I'm not afraid? You were the only one. I was afraid of letting Obi wan down, and the council. I was afraid of failing Rex and the others. I was afraid of losing Padmé. But when you were there, I can't remember being afraid."

"I have a confession to make," she started, shifting in her seat. He looked at her with curious eyes. "I was so worried about you all the time and frustrated that the council never listened to me when I told them you needed help, that I learned how to do something for you. When you were asleep, I would probe your energy with my own, trying to even it out so you could get some real rest. It took a lot out of me, but I persisted at it whenever I could."

"That's why you always wanted to be close to me at night?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes."

"I kept thinking you were seeking comfort, but instead, you were giving it."

"Yes. That night that Fives was killed, Rex and I had talked. He told me you weren't doing well and that you could use me. Every logical thought in my brain told me to stay away, but I went running back to you anyways. I let myself in, I soothed your energy and then I left before you woke up. I thought it was better you didn't know. You always hated me prying, this was just as bad. But I couldn't stand watching you suffer all the time. I had to do something!"

"I remember that night," he murmured thoughtfully. "I woke up certain that I'd felt you. That I'd smelled you. I could feel your energy in the room. But it didn't make any sense. I thought I was hallucinating because I'd missed you so much."

"I'm sorry," she breathed. 

"Don't be. You were the one thing in my life I wasn't afraid of. You are a brilliant white light, brighter than even your lightsabers. If love is the force, then you are the force incarnate."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was supposed to be a transition here, but I got lazy and never wrote it and I wanted to share my later chapters of this. But essentially Anakin left Ashla and Ahsoka on the battle station to go first to Naboo and then Tatooine to figured some stuff out for himself. After this chapter, he returns to the rebellion to help them, deciding finally that he'd rather be with them.

           "Hi, mom," his lip trembled as he stared at the grave marker in front of him. He blinked to get rid of the tears that were threatening to overwhelm him. "It's been a long time since I last talked to you. My life has gone in so many different directions. Sometimes I wish I'd stayed here with you. You let me go so I could be free, but I never was." The suns beat down on his head and he threw up the hood of his brown robes. "I messed everything up. I let my fear get the better of me. I’m trying to fix it now. It’s been a difficult road. I couldn’t have done it without help. I'm in a better place now though. I wanted you to know.” He fell silent and stared at the sand. So many emotions washing over him. He missed his mother so much. He wished she could hold him like she used to. That he could hear her voice telling him that everything was going to be okay.

           “Did you know my grandma?” He turned to see a little boy with blonde hair looking up at him curiously. His blue eyes were bright, compared to the plain color of his clothes.

           “Yes,” he said quietly.

           “I never got to know her, but my uncle says she was the kindest person he’d ever known,” the boy said.

           “She was.”

           “Luke? Who are you talking to?” A woman came out of the sand colored home and froze. Anakin swallowed hard. They stared at each other for a moment. “Luke, go fetch your uncle, would you?”

           “Okay, Aunt Beru,” the boy said and started running towards the outskirts of the farm. Anakin watched him go in silence.

           “If you’re here to take him to become a Jedi, I won’t allow it. We told Ben the same thing.”

           He studied her face. “I’m not.”

           “Then what do you want?”

           “I came to pay respects to my mother,” he whispered. Her eyes widened, and she stepped back in surprise.

           “You? No, it can’t be. He said you were dead. You can’t take him, you can’t take our Luke,” she cried, bringing up the towel she was holding and waving it at him like she was trying to swat a bug. He watched her sadly, she was near hysterical by the time Luke returned with his uncle, but he’d made no move to comfort her.

           “Beru, Beru, calm down, what’s the matter?” Owen Lars said as he rounded the bend, running to her side. She tried to make noise but didn’t manage it and just pointed angrily at him. He turned on him. “What do you want? Who are you?”

           “He knew my grandma,” Luke said and they all looked at him. Owen then turned back to Anakin and a moment later, recognition dawned.

           “Don’t let him take Luke,” Beru found her voice at last.

           “Is that why you’re here?” Owen asked tightly.

           “Take me where?” Luke interjected.

           “No,” Anakin replied. Beru looked like she was a moment away from fainting and he felt guilty. So this was where they’d taken him and Padmé's son? He knelt down so he could look at Luke closely, studying him. Beru made a noise like she was going to protest, but Owen put his arm up in front of her. “Your name is Luke?” he asked the child.

           “Yes,” he replied. “Luke Skywalker. My dad was a cargo pilot. My uncle says my parents died in a crash.” Anakin looked up at Owen and he shifted nervously, not wanting to make eye contact.

           “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said to him. “Tell me, Luke. Are you happy here?”

           “Yes. It’s not very exciting, but it’s home.” His mouth twitched as he watched him. He set his hand on Luke’s shoulder, hoping to feel Padmé in him.

           “You’re a good boy,” Anakin said. “Take good care of your aunt and uncle, okay? And never forget how much they love you.” He stood up and looked at Owen and Beru. He wanted to say something, but decided against it, so he just nodded and turned to go.

           He didn’t look back, but he felt their eyes following his departure. The tear rolled down his cheek before he could stop it. He wanted Luke. He wanted Leia. He wanted Ashla. Just like before, that hadn’t changed. But in that moment, when he’d seen his half-brother and his wife, hovering protectively over him, terrified he’d come to take him away. He realized that maybe it wasn’t always good to get what you want. That maybe some things were better left as they were. Luke may never get to know his father, but he had a loving family to grow up in. He now understood Bail’s fear that Anakin would say the words and take Leia away from him.

           “I’m sorry, Padmé,” he whispered aloud as he continued to walk the lonely road. “I know you had such high hopes for us. That we’d be a happy family; you, me and the baby. But I never could have been the husband you deserved or the father they did. Not with who I was at the time. And now… I think it’s better this way.” He suddenly remembered something and turned around, heading back to the Lars farm. Owen was still standing outside watching him, but Beru had gone inside with Luke. He pulled a holodisk out of his pocket and set it in Owen’s hands. “Give this to him, when he’s older.”

           “What is it?” his brother asked nervously.

           “A picture of his mother,” Anakin swallowed. Then he set his hand on Owen’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

 

\---

 

           He looked up to see a figure standing at the top of the next dune. He'd been walking slowly for a long time. But he was in no hurry. He   had nowhere to be, not right now anyways. There were places he probably  _should_  be, but this was something he'd been needing to do for awhile. It was a two-part pilgrimage to make peace with the parts of his past he couldn't let go. He deviated from his path and headed towards the figure. He stood next to him, following his gaze back towards the farm.

           He could just make out the three people moving around. In some ways, it felt like he was failing Padmé to leave Luke here. And of course, he had no love for this horrible planet. But his son wasn't a slave like he'd been. His son had a future and hope and love, which was so much more than he could offer him. He squeezed his eyes shut and kicked at the sand.

           Obi wan set his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "You did the right thing," he whispered sagely.

           "I know." He turned to look at his old master. "Thank you, for watching over him."

           "Always." Obi wan nodded and stroked his beard. They stood there in silence watching the Lars family until the suns set and they went inside. Then Anakin said goodbye to his old friend and went along his way.


	13. Chapter 13

            “Ahsoka Tano,” he said stepping out onto the deck of the old AT-TE Walker they’d modified to be kind of homey. All sorts of interesting bits and bobs hanging off it in all directions.

            “Hello, Rex ol’ boy,” Ahsoka smiled. “It’s good to see you again.”

            “The feeling is mutual, Lil’un,” Rex slid down the ladder and she threw her arms around him in a hug. “Look how much you’ve grown.”

            “Well, it had to happen sometime,” she laughed.

            “What brings you to the dusty plains of Seelos?” he asked.

            “I know you don’t want to fight anymore wars, but do you have anything left for one last battle? Like old times?”

            “You must be desperate if you’re hunting down old geezers like me,” he chuckled.

            “Not desperate, I just need the best.”

            He shook his head but smiled. “What’s the target?”

            “Tarkin.”

            “Grand Moff Tarkin, hmm? I have a score to settle with him,” Rex got a far away look in his eyes.

            “We all do,” she said.

            “Then count me in.” He set his hand on her shoulder. “It’s been a long time. I was starting to fear the worst.”

            “I’ve been sending you messages, haven’t you gotten them?” she asked confused.

            “Wolffe?” he looked over his shoulder and called to one of the other clones that were standing on the deck. “What did you do?”

            “I was protecting you,” Commander Wolffe said gruffly.

            “Protecting me from her?”

            “She’s a Jedi!”

            Rex sighed, dropping his shoulders an inch. “She  _was_  a Jedi, Wolffe, but she’s not our enemy.”

            “The Jedi caused this!”

            “No, the Empire did.” Rex turned back to her sadly, looking like he was going to apologize.

            “It’s okay,” she said. “He did what he thought was right. But if you haven’t been getting my messages, then you probably don’t know.”

            “Know what?” He tipped his head to the side.

            “Anakin is alive,” she whispered. His eyes widened in surprise.

            “He’s alive?”

            “Yes.”

            “Then where has he been?”

            “I’ll let him tell you. He’s coming with us on this mission. And Artoo,” Ahsoka said.

            “Then we can’t fail,” Rex nodded to her. She felt a rush of pride and gratitude for this battle-hardened clone. She could never forgive the Republic for their treatment of them, but no one had performed their duty better than he had. In fact, he’d gone above and beyond. And sadly, one of very few that had survived it. She sincerely hoped they’d survive this last mission too.

 

\---

 

            Ashla was tugging on his arm, wanting so badly to show off all the things she'd discovered on this exciting ship that they were now on. He hoped Ahsoka would get back soon. He had no idea how to keep her busy all day every day. He'd tried everything he could think of short of letting her run free and find her own entertainment. Who knew what she'd get into then?

            As it was, Commander Sato was going to have his hands full with her while they were going after Tarkin, because they sure weren't taking a child into a war zone if they could help it. They'd already warned him to keep her away from anything they didn't want taken apart. The commander had scoffed as though he hadn't believed him. So to demonstrate, after Ahsoka had left, Anakin put an old clone wars engine regulator on the floor in the command room. Then he instructed the commander to turn around for five minutes. Sure enough, when they'd turned back around, the crate sized machine was in rows of pieces, spread out all over the floor.

            The problem was, like she'd done with his arm, she'd stolen other pieces from around the ship and they still hadn't discovered exactly what she'd tampered with. When he saw the commander's reaction, he was certain he was trying to figure out what room he could lock her in while they were gone. They couldn't even leave Artoo behind to babysit, because they needed him if they were going to take down Tarkin.

            But if Ahsoka didn't get back soon, she wouldn't even recognize the ship. Their daughter's success with his mechanical arms seemed to have fueled her creativity and talent, causing her to  _need_  to use it. To be honest, despite everything, Ashla's boredom was his number one reason to bring down the Empire. If they couldn't make it safe to move around, so she could have friends her own age, they were going to go insane. As it was, he didn't even know where Ahsoka went. She'd been very secretive about just who this mystery person was that was essential to their mission.

            "Daddy, daddy!" Ashla tugged on his arm again. "I want to show you something!"

            "Okay, okay, I'm coming," he rolled his eyes after she turned around. She could be more demanding than Ahsoka sometimes.

            "Look at this! Isn't it cool!" she pointed to a pocket sized datapad. Well, at least he thought it was a datapad. Maybe it used to be one?

            "It's amazing sweetie," he said. He didn't want to curb her enthusiasm, but maybe he needed to. She had so much.

            "Look what happens when I push this button." She poked her finger against it and he stared in surprise as a three-dimensional tie fighter was projected above it. "If I put it down and wave my arms, I can make it bigger." She moved her hands through it, communicating with the projection solely in hand motions. Swipe left, it switched to an interior diagram. Swipe right, a list of specs appeared next to it in the air. Swipe up and you could take apart one piece at a time and spin the piece around with your fingers, inspecting all sides. Swipe down, and you could show a recording of the way it moved. He'd never before seen a handheld device with that much capability. That's why every ship had a giant holotable near the bridge. "Do you like it?" she asked nervously and he peeled his eyes away from the overwhelming information she'd managed to cram into a tiny little datapad.

            "It's incredible," he said sincerely. That was all he said anymore it seemed. What more could you say when a five-year-old child repeatedly created more and more advanced technology with a rudimentary understanding of parts? "What did you take from this time?"

            "I don't remember," she put her hands behind her back and rubbed her toe against the metal floor.

            He crouched down in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Listen, love," he started. "Your talent is amazing. Everything you've created has been... amazing. But we're on a ship floating in the middle of space, and we have to make sure you're not taking parts from systems we might need. What if the Empire comes and we need to get away? But you took a piece from the hyperdrive? What if they start shooting at us and we can't defend ourselves because you took something from the shields?"

            "But I didn't!" She looked like she was about to cry.

            "You just told me you don't remember where you got them from. If you don't remember, how do you know you didn't?" he asked as gently as he could.  _Come on, Ahsoka, hurry up._

            "I don't know!" She did start crying this time. Go

            "Ashla, listen to me..."

            "You don't like it!"

            "I didn't say that. Shh, look, you're not in trouble. I'm just trying to teach you. All I'm asking is that when you're creating these incredible machines, pay attention to where you get the other parts from. Okay?" She sniveled for a few minutes and he looked around for something to wipe her nose with. Not finding anything, he reluctantly used the sleeve of his robe. She shook her head so he had a hard time getting it clean and he was about ready to give up. "Ashla," he whispered. "Come on, work with me here."

            The door opened and she went from fussy to angelic in a split second. "Mommy!" He fell back off his heels and just sat on the floor, he stared blankly at the control panel in front of him in annoyance. He told himself to breathe and remember that as children go, she was pretty easy and he needed to lighten up. It wasn't her fault she had these urges with the force that she didn't understand.

            "Ashla, love!" Ahsoka said sweetly. "Why is your father on the floor?"

            "I don't know," Ashla replied, her voice as innocent as she could make it and he rolled his eyes and smirked. He really wanted to stand up and say, like hell she didn't know! But he took a deep breath and got to his feet as dignified as he could manage. He'd once been a Jedi knight. He'd once been a Sith  _Lord_. And now he was going to be undone by a curly haired little 'angel.'

            He turned around and met eye contact with Ahsoka who was standing there holding Ashla in her arms. He raised his brow at her and made a face and Ahsoka just started laughing. Then he glanced over her shoulder at the man that had followed her into the room.

            "Ashla," Ahsoka said, turning back to the girl. "I want you to meet one of your father and I's closest friends. This is Rex."

            "Hello," Ashla said sweetly. "I like your beard!"

            "Well thank you, Lil'un," Rex replied reaching out to ruffle her hair. Ashla giggled. Ahsoka put her down and she tugged on Rex's arm like she'd been doing to Anakin all day. He took a knee in front of her and gave her a big grin. She ran her hands across the painted armor that he wore and he let her take his helmet and look it over.

            "What do all these marks mean?" she asked, pointing to the tally marks Rex had painted on the side of his helmet and various other places all over his armor.

            "They represent all my brothers that fell in battle," Rex said softly.

            "You must come from a big family," Ashla whispered, seeming to understand the weight of what he'd said.

            "I did indeed," Rex replied.

            "Do you miss them?"

            "Very much." Rex patted her on the head.

            "I'm sorry," Ashla said and threw her arms around his neck. "I'll be your family now! But I hope you'll paint more than a line if I fall."

            Rex hugged her back, kissing her gently on the cheek. "I won't let that happen," he promised. Anakin watched him in amazement, unsure of what to say. It was obvious Rex had never before met Ashla, but he got the distinct impression that he'd already known about her. Of course, Ahsoka had plenty of time to tell him before they got back. But... somehow he was certain that Rex had known about her for much longer than that. Longer than even he'd known about her.

            Ahsoka squeezed him on the shoulder and he looked over at her. She smiled reassuringly at him and tipped her head towards the clone captain in front of them. "I didn't tell him where you'd been. I figured, that should come from you," she whispered. He blinked at her and nodded in agreement. "Ashla, sweetie. You can show him all your wonderful gadgets later. Let's get you washed up for dinner, Rex and your father have some catching up to do."

            Ahsoka took Ashla's hand and she waved coyly at Rex as they left the room. Anakin watched them go wondering why Ahsoka could just say the words and their daughter would obey but if he told her to do anything, she fought him all the way. Maybe he was too soft. He glanced over at Rex surprised to see he was studying him.

            "General," the clone captain saluted him. "It's good to see you."

            "Oh Rex," Anakin murmured wanting so badly to give him a hug. But he hesitated because it didn't feel appropriate. Though he'd regarded the captain highly and as one of his closest friends, maybe even family, there'd never been physical affection between them like Ahsoka had with him.

            She'd left it up to him to tell Rex what had happened. And even though she was right, he deserved to hear it from him, he didn't know how to explain it.  _Oh by the way, I turned into the very thing we fought all throughout the Clone Wars... negating all the good we did and making things so much worse for everyone._  Yeah, that would go over well. Especially after Rex had so poignantly reminded them just how many lives had been lost through it all.

            "So how are you liking fatherhood?" Rex chuckled after awhile, seeming to sense they needed to work up to the bigger stuff. "She seems pretty sweet, but I imagine she's a handful."

            "You have no idea," Anakin muttered. "Don't get me wrong, I love her to death. But oh man, if you thought Ahsoka was a bossy little thing. Ashla is twice as bad."

            "Well to be fair," Rex stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I think she gets it from both sides."

            "And just what are you implying, captain?" Anakin smirked at him.

            "It's been my experience that trouble usually comes in pairs." He started laughing and set his helmet down on the holotable. Anakin frowned at him, but it was only half-hearted. He didn't want to admit Rex was right. He'd gotten into his fair share of trouble too. And most of it had dragged everyone else along with him. Of the bunch, Ahsoka was probably the only sane one.

            "How have you been, my friend?" Anakin asked sadly.

            "Oh you know, surviving," Rex said thoughtfully. "It was rough for awhile, but I found a few other survivors and we made a place for ourselves."

            "I'm really glad you're here."

            "Likewise," Rex leaned back against the holotable and crossed his arms. It was weird to see him with a beard. Rex had always taken such pride in being clean shaven and ready for action. He'd let himself go just a bit, but Anakin didn't doubt he was still just as deadly. "When Ahsoka told me she couldn't feel you in the force anymore... it was difficult to hear. Everything that happened... it was almost too much to bear," Rex said softly.

            Anakin leaned back against the table next to him, dreading the words he needed to say. "Rex... I..." they caught in his throat and he stared at his feet. He was surprised when the captain set his hand on his arm.

            "Maybe I don't want to know," he said finally. "But you're here now."

            The tears streamed down his face before he could stop them. "I'm so sorry, Rex. I'm so sorry!" He threw his arms around him before he could think it through. He didn't care anymore if it was appropriate. He didn't care if their relationship could handle it. He just needed to hold his friend. Someone who in spite of it all, could still find it in his heart to respect him and to care. Rex was definitely taken aback by the sudden show of affection, but he didn't close down. He hugged him back. "Thank you for protecting her," he said when he pulled away.

            "It was an honor to serve my general," Rex said simply. But underneath his words, Anakin felt so much from him. Rex had performed his duty, above and beyond it even. He'd done exactly what Anakin had asked of him; he'd protected Ahsoka. If it weren't for him, she might not have survived the Jedi purge. Very possibly, none of them would have. He owed the veteran captain a debt he could never repay. "I hear we're going after Tarkin."

            "Yes," Anakin replied, pulling himself together.

            "He won't be easy to get to, so I imagine you have a plan."

            "I do actually, but it's risky," he stroked his chin.

            "Aren't they all?" Rex laughed and picked up his helmet. "But if you don't mind, I'm famished. And Ahsoka mentioned dinner. We can't bring down the Empire on an empty stomach."

            Anakin grinned at him. "You're exactly right, captain. Let's have a preemptive victory feast."

            "Well a feast might be pushing it. If I eat too much, I won't fit into my armor anymore," Rex laughed. "Lead the way, sir!"


	14. Chapter 14

           "Strap in, we're about to come out of hyperspace. In 30..." Anakin said as she dropped into her seat and buckled up.

           "Mommy!" The door into the cockpit opened and Ahsoka looked over her shoulder in horror.

           "Ashla? Why aren't you with Commander Sato?"

           "You forgot this," the little girl held up the datapad she'd been showing them over dinner.

           Anakin put his arm out to stop her from leaping to her feet. "15, 14, 13..."

           "Anakin turn us around!" Ahsoka demanded.

           "I can't, even if we pull out now, we'll be too close. If they detect us before we dock, we're all dead." Anakin replied, reaching for the lever. "Hold on!"

           "Rex!" Ahsoka screamed.

           "I got her!" Rex grabbed Ashla just as the ship lurched, and Anakin rolled to miss the bow of the star destroyer in front of them. Racing along the bottom of it upside down, Rex's arms were the only thing keeping Ashla from crashing into the ceiling.

           Seconds later they were docked at the emergency airlock. "Move out!" Anakin was unbuckled and on his feet.

           "But," she protested.

           "If we don't get off the ship now, dozens of stormtroopers are going to converge on us. We have to complete this mission if we're going to get out of here alive.  _All of us._ " He set his hand on her shoulder just briefly as he ran to the ladder to climb out of the ship. "Hurry!" He was out first. Then Rex handed Ashla to him and climbed out too. She reluctantly followed, trying her best to calm her nerves. This mission was dangerous enough as it is, but their daughter was now here in the middle of it. Oh great. She tried to swallow her rising panic as Artoo beeped for her to hurry up and get out of the way.

           "Mommy, you're hurting me," Ashla said as they crept along the hallway as quickly as possible. Ahsoka released the pressure on their daughter's arm, but continued to firmly pull her along. Her heart was racing. How were they going to get to Tarkin, kill him, and escape with a child in the middle of all of this? Their child no less. This was exactly why she'd let Nyx keep her after order 66. As long as she worked for the rebellion, it was too dangerous to have her around. Especially if she was going to do things like this and stowaway on their ship.

           She looked up when she heard troops running in their direction. She pushed them back against the wall and put her finger to her lips. Ashla looked afraid but she stayed quiet. "They're coming from all directions," Rex whispered.

           "Into the vents," Anakin ordered, opening the grate behind them. "Artoo, plug in and keep watch." Artoo beeped obediently and wheeled forward to slice into the ship's computer while they climbed inside the ventilation duct. They watched as several groups of stormtroopers ran by ignoring Artoo completely. They'd painted him to look like an imperial droid.

           When the hallway was quiet again, Ahsoka took Ashla by the shoulders. "Listen to me, okay? This is not a game. This is life or death. If one of us tells you to do something, you do it. No whining, no questions. Understand?" Ashla nodded, her blue eyes wide.

           "Actually," Anakin said suddenly. "We're going to make it a game."

           "Anakin..." she started but he brushed her aside.

           "Ashla, the rules are simple. Do not be seen or heard by anyone other than us. Find the deepest reaches of the ventilation shaft to hide in, keep moving so they can't detect you." He pulled the wrist comm off his glove and handed it to the little girl. "Do not lose this. Push this button if it flashes. And most importantly, if you are found, push and hold the button. And don't tell them anything. Can you do that?" She nodded and sat back against the wall, holding onto the comm in her tiny hands.

           Ahsoka hugged her tightly. "Please be careful, love."

           "I will mommy," she said, trying to sit up straighter so she looked brave. A tear rolled down Ahsoka's cheek and she brushed it away. Rex squeezed her on the shoulder. "Wait," Ashla said after they started climbing out of the vent. Anakin peered back in at her. "Take this. It will help you." She handed him the datapad she'd been holding earlier. He pushed the button and his eyes widened as a perfect 3D model of the Executrix appeared above it.

           "How did you get the plans of this ship?" he asked.

           "Artoo," she said. He leaned forward and ruffled her hair.

           "Forget everything I said earlier," he whispered. "Take apart and build whatever you want. Just here on this ship, don't help the enemy okay?"

           "Okay daddy." She gave him one of her oh so angelic grins.

           "Stay safe." He put the grate back on the duct between them and they headed down the hallway.

 

\---

           "I don't like leaving her behind," Ahsoka said to him as he led the way.

           "Me either," he said as they ducked into a store room to hide from a patrol. "Listen to me, Ahsoka. You need to get your head here, right now, on this mission. I'm afraid for her too, but she's clever. Obviously it's not ideal, but we have one chance to bring down Tarkin and turn the tides in the rebellion's favor. She'll be okay because she's like us."

           "You say that like it's supposed to comfort me," Ahsoka smirked at him and Rex laughed.

           "I mean, she's a survivor. I can feel it. It's going to be okay. Now let's do our job." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the forehead, holding her until she relaxed. Artoo beeped through the door. "Get ready, Rex. Our disguises have arrived."

           "Oh boy, stormtrooper armor, I can't wait." Anakin smiled but didn't respond. When Artoo gave the signal, he leapt out, knocking the two heads together and dragging them into the store room. Once he and Rex were disguised as Storm troopers, they split up. They headed towards the bridge, while Ahsoka and Artoo headed towards the hanger bay.

           He didn't want to admit it, but he  _was_  afraid. It felt like he'd been too rough on Ahsoka. He wasn't her master anymore, and he had no right to order her around. But if he didn't snap her out of this fear, this wasn't going to end well for any of them. They were depending on her to be focused. Her part of the plan was crucial to the success of this mission and their getaway.

           He turned on the comm in his helmet as they walked down the hallway. No one stopped them, no one questioned them. He'd been on this ship dozens of times, but he'd never before cared about all the nooks and crannies that they now needed to make use of. And the path they'd taken from the emergency airlock had him all turned around.

           They slipped inside another room, grateful to find it empty. The lights flickered and he looked around. "It's too early for Ahsoka to have set off the explosion, what do you suppose that was?" he asked Rex.

           "I'm not sure, but according to the helmet relay conversations, it came from deck thirty-three, aft section."

           Anakin pushed the button on the datapad Ashla had given him and zoomed into the 3D hologram. He used hand motions to isolate the area Rex had mentioned. "Oh no," he murmured after studying the map for a few minutes and zooming out. "That's directly below where we left Ashla."

           "Well, you did give her permission to take things apart," Rex chuckled.

           "I told her to hide!" Anakin replied indignantly.

           "Maybe she's doing both."

           "You've only seen one thing she's put together, the problem is exactly that. She's good at taking things apart, but whenever she puts them back together, she improves them. And the last thing we need is her making improvements to the enemy ship," Anakin sighed. "I should have just told her to hide."

           "If I didn't know better," Rex stroked his beard. "I'd say you're jealous."

           "What would give you that idea, captain?"

           "Oh I don't know, your five year old daughter is showing you up. You're no longer the prodigy."

           "And why would I care about being a prodigy?" He grumbled, glaring at the clone captain.

           Rex raised his brow but his mouth twitched in a smile. "No reason." He put the stormtrooper helmet back on and tapped the side of it. "Says here, they found a power console in pieces. Oh, and vital elements are missing so they can't repair it. Backup generators came online."

           "Now that sounds like Ashla," Anakin murmured.  _Oh brother..._

           "They know there's intruders aboard, but they haven't found any yet. No mention of seeing a child, so good news." Rex reported.

           "Anything about Tarkin?"

           "Not that I've heard."

           "Well, let's keep moving. Tarkin has no reason to leave his post yet."

 

\---

 

           Ahsoka slid through the ventilation shaft in silence, trying to keep her mind as calm and empty as possible. Everytime she let it wander, she'd picture Ashla in danger or hurt.  _Have faith in your child,_  she chided herself. Anakin was right, she was a survivor and she was smart. Really smart. Of course, if they got out of this alive, they'd definitely need to teach her to stay put when told to.

           She looked through the grate into the hanger. It was mostly empty, a few lingering troopers. Her eyes fell on the shuttle at the far end near the shield. If all went well, that would be their escape. She pressed the button to signal Artoo and a few minutes later he wheeled into the hanger. She watched him roll right past the guards, who paid no attention to him whatsoever. She shook her head but filed away that piece of information. Well, overlooking droids might very well be their undoing. The ironic part to her, was that the Imperials didn't use astromech model droids. Meaning that the storm troopers were even less observant than they'd originally thought. He was painted in their colors, so they had no reason to question his presence. Clearly none of these officers had ever fought droids.

           Artoo wheeled back out of the shuttle and tucked the stolen part into one of his storage slots. She shook her head in disbelief as he passed the troopers that again paid no attention to him. How stupid could you get? He plugged into a console near one of the hangar doors and just as he opened it, the power went off. She looked around in surprise, what the? It had flickered before, but this time it didn't come back on.

           The stormtroopers started yelling something amongst themselves and they split up and headed off in different directions, leaving the room below her completely empty. Well, okay... she moved the grate and dropped down, flipping and landing lightly on the floor. Artoo beeped at her and she rolled to the side, ducking behind some crates.

           "We've lost power to the shields and engines," an officer said as he entered the hangar bay followed by a dozen troopers. "Prepare Tarkin's shuttle." She watched them fight with the engine for awhile, unable to get it started. "You, droid!" The officer yelled at Artoo. "Run a diagnostic on this ship."

 

\---

 

           Pausing every so often to check the map on the datapad, Anakin and Rex finally made it to the command deck. Their helmet comms were abuzz with repeated mechanical failures. Every time someone investigated the source of the failure, all they'd find was it in pieces with major parts missing. He was starting to think that the rest of them weren't even needed on this mission, since Ashla was an excellent saboteur.

           She was fast, there was no apparent pattern to what she hit and she had the entire ship in lockdown. Well, it would be in lockdown if they had power. Instead it was a state of chaos. Her random hits all over the ship had their defenses spread thin, communications, other than those in the helmets, down, shields were off, automated weapons useless, engines didn't work either. But somehow she knew enough to hit things that didn't turn off vital systems like life support and gravity.

           Tarkin didn't have enough repair teams to get everything back up and working again, right now, he was focused on the power. He had other cruisers around them to provide defenses and protection. Anakin wondered what he was thinking now.

           Since they came aboard, his ship has been rendered practically useless. In most cases, that would be enough cause for evacuation. But as far as they could figure, Tarkin hasn't considered that an option. So, he clearly believed that whatever was sabotaging his ship had no way to get to him. Which was actually ironic, because him and Rex were now standing on the command deck with a few other troopers, less than ten yards away from him. Ahsoka would be along any minute.

           Anakin watched Tarkin relay orders through a nearby trooper, completely oblivious to the impending threat. He felt his lips peel back in disgust. He couldn't believe he'd ever admired this man. And worse, that he'd allowed the Emperor to hold his leash. As officers go, he was definitely an ideal candidate for the Empire. He was ruthless, cold, smart and power-hungry.

           He sensed Ahsoka and looked up across the way. She was inside the ventilation shaft opposite them. He made the signal with his arms so she'd know which two were them and she nodded. "Grand Moff Tarkin," Anakin said, stepping out of the line.

           "What is it trooper?" Tarkin turned to face him.

           "I hear the Emperor wasn't pleased when you lost his apprentice," Anakin said coldly.

           "What are you talking about trooper? Identify yourself!" Tarkin demanded.

           "The last time you saw me, I was wearing very different armor." Anakin took off his helmet and threw it at Tarkin. He caught it out of pure self-preservation.

           "Shoot him!" Tarkin ordered. The stormtroopers and officers turned on Anakin and started firing, but he already had his red lightsaber out. He deflected it back at all of them until only he, Tarkin and Rex were still standing. "What are you waiting for trooper?" Tarkin yelled at Rex.

           Ahsoka stepped out from behind him and Rex pretended to fall like she'd stabbed him from behind.

           "How did you?" He snarled looking like a cornered beast.

           "It's a funny story actually," Ahsoka said casually. "You see, Darth Vader was once my master, Anakin Skywalker. The Emperor kept him enslaved for a reason, because once freed, nothing could stop him from destroying everything he's built."

           "I'd give you a piece of advice, but you won't live long enough to use it," Anakin said stepping towards him menacingly.

           The door to the command deck opened and a whole legion of troops rushed in, caulking their weapons and aiming them at him and Ahsoka.

           Tarkin curled his lips into smug smile. "Well it seems you've miscalculated today," he said. "I imagine the Emperor will be pleased when I bring you both before him in chains."

           A little mouse droid wheeled into the room stopping in the middle of the stormtroopers. Anakin stared at it for a moment, then his eyes widened. "Get down!" he yelled. He, Ahsoka and Rex all dove to the sides of the room and rolled under consoles, covering their heads as an explosion rocked the bridge. Anakin was on his feet first and at Ahsoka's side. "Are you okay?" He checked her for wounds.

           "I'm fine," she coughed. "Who taught Ashla how to make bombs?"

           "I don't know," Anakin murmured. Rex had stood up putting his helmet back on and inched his way around the carnage checking the damage.

           "General," he said and Anakin was on his feet heading his way. Tarkin was lying in front of them, just barely alive. He looked up at him pleadingly but Anakin felt no sympathy for him. He pulled out the lightsaber, spun it around and stabbed it down through his chest. It wasn't the Jedi way, but it was the way of the Sith. And whether he liked it or not, both were a part of him now.

           "It's time to go," he murmured.


End file.
